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We'll all be there one day

medit8 Jul 28, 2017

  1. medit8

    medit8 Brigade Member Knife Maker or Craftsman Brigade Member

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    The doctor says, “Larry, for a 90 year old man, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

    Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

    “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

    A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

    “Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

    “Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
     
  2. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    What do you mean "one day"? Summa us's are there NOW! :bobert:
     
  3. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    You are speaking just for yourself crogers.. I hope. Lol
     
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  4. sam eib

    sam eib Average Member

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    My brother used to do that when he drank way to much. No shit!
     
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  5. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    My brother had a sleep walking problem when he was young and used to get caught all over the place.

    I remember once waking up to him standing up on the bed trying to get the window open. When we asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to go to the bathroom...
     
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  6. begreen61

    begreen61 Deadicated JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    1979,,,,,,,,,,,,,18 years old ,,5 dollars all the beer you can drink ,,,and 2 hits of acid ,,,,,,,,,,,,we called them black out fridays ,I guess it's a form of sleep walking ,,on the stupid side,,,still don't know how I didn't kill someone or my self .cut my hand near off in one of those ,,,,,,,,,,,,No it was the last time actually ,, in one of those acid /beer black outs ,another night in all rights I should be dead from bleeding out .
     
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  7. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Lucky you didn't wake up to him pissing on your head! :pisspants:
     
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  8. Guillermo

    Guillermo 7th Man of the 7th son Super Moderator

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    That's too funny and reminded me of something a friend of mine did years ago. We were drinking early in life, like by 14-15. Not every day but more than any kid should. My friend Mark was at least 16 since he drove home after a party and was tore up. He went into his parents bedroom, took his clothes off and jumped into bed. Guess they just left him alone since he was too big to carry to his bed. He got up, pulled the underwear drawer open and urinated in it.
     
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  9. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    that's awesome.
     
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  10. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    I've peed down the stairs in my townhouse once. I was unaware I slept walked until my early 30's.
     
  11. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    you have no siblings?

    how has nobody else noticed?
     
  12. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    This was back in 2010. I thought I had posted this before, so i had to search a bit. My roommates and me had moved in to the the town house next door to our friends. This particular night i had just had a friend move in down stairs and sleep on a futon. This was his first night in the home. Anywho, I had been home a couple of hours already from the bar and was a sleep. I had to pee i guess, so i got up and out of bed from what my GF says, I walked out of the room and instead of walking the equal distance to the bathroom, I walked to the top of the stairs and began to pee down the steps, on the wall, the handrail. My GF noticed and tried to make me go to the bathroom, but I wouldn't budge, and then I came to and I was peeing down my stairs still, but couldn't stop. My roommates all woke up and started dying of laughter from their rooms. My buddy that just moved into the living room on a futon started cracking up downstairs. I felt pretty bad the next day, and luckily a neighbor had a wet vac that I was able to shampoo the carpets with and then I cleaned the walls and the handrails. One roommate nudged me the next day and said good job convincing everyone that I was sleep walking, and not drunk. Although, I have no doubts that I was sleep walking because even when I am drinking and I am shit faced, I still know where the bathroom is. This was my 3rd time I know of sleep walking.

    The first time I apparently was at my previous residence and trying to get onto the balcony above the pool from my roommate's room. He finally woke up when he heard me fiddling with the door lock and turned the light on to find me in my underroos. He busted up laughing, and I woke up and was like WTF are you laughing at, then I noticed that I was standing in his room in my tighty whiteys. I ran out of there with the quickness, and we didn't talk for like a week. I still laugh about this one. That was so uncomfortable. When we finally spoke, he said I used his bathroom in pitch black conditions, washed my hands, then rummaged through his closets in the dark, and started messing with the balcony door when he finally was able to wake up.

    the 2nd time i slept walk may have been a drunk moment, but I am uncertain how black out drunk I was. I woke up and all of the dresser drawers were out on the floor and some mystery liquid was in my trash can. i guessed it was pee and threw it all away. ahhh, the dirty 30's.
     
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  13. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    you being drunk (or most likely drunk) in all three cases makes it sound a lot less like sleep walking and more like drunken autopilot.

    my brother sleep walked when we were young all the time. he did weird shit in almost every sleep walking incident that he was observed in. i think i always thought it was funny, but isn't that a normal sibling reaction?

    i had a friend in junior high who would sleep talk. he would have out loud conversations with whomever was nearby like he was wide awake. his voice was at normal volume and if you responded to him he would respond right back quite naturally. the conversations never made any sense at all and he never remembered any of them.

    if you are caught sleep walking when sober i think there's more of an issue. the drunken ALWAYS do funny shit.
     
  14. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Yep. Sleepwalking can be funny....

     
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  15. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    And she didn't have a clue....

     
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  16. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    Loving these stories..epic lol
     

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