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Was the Fed Ex (Express) guy trying to steal my new phone?

Mr.LaBella Aug 1, 2012


Was the Fed Ex (Express) guy trying to steal my new phone?

  1. Yes!

    0 vote(s)
  2. No!

    0 vote(s)
  3. Unsure and will reply in the thread with my reasons.

    0 vote(s)
  1. Mr.LaBella

    Mr.LaBella ←The № 1 Devil→ Administrator

    So. At approximately 1:45 PM our hero gets an email from FedEx tracking updates that his 'package' was dropped at his front door, no signature required. Our hero telephoned his son and instructed him [the son] to go outside, retrieve the 'package', open it and connect it to the wall charger.

    Some hours pass and our hero comes home to find no 'package' anywhere in sight.

    Our hero asks his son what happened, and the son replies "There was nothing there."

    Our hero calmly goes back to his email and double checks as perhaps he was accidentally tripping on LSD, perhaps?!

    So, when our hero verifies the email from FedEx was not a hallucination, our hero begins to panic. He decides to switch costumes from the footie pajamas, to the footie pajamas with cape.

    Next up, a call to customer service he thinketh.

    After 99 prompts, we get a southern woman who seems almost interested in assisting. Almost.

    She says she will open a ticket on the allegedly missing package. Our hero mentions that he knows where the local FedEx location is and that "If there is shenanigans, there WILL BE shenanigans!". She promptly hangs up. Moments later a woman from said local facility calls our hero. She seems exasperated at the details, and says that a trace has been put out and 'someone' will return our hero's call "promptly".

    An hour plus rolls by, and our hero decides "enough is enough", and attempts to call the local center back. True to form, the local # re-routs to the main # and again we get a southern woman on the phone, this one, HOWEVER, seems interested in helping. And so it begins. Of course as luck would have it, our hero's connection fails, and the call is lost.

    As our hero attempts to call the main # back, an unknown cell phone # calls our hero and leaves a voicemail. After he [our hero] gets the ball rolling again, he checks his voicemail and hears that it was the top manager of the local FedEx facility. Whoopsie on missing that call for more prompts.

    So, the main manager gets the ball rolling and says she is calling the driver at which point our hero gets upset and screams "I find it very hard to believe, that in this day & age of wireless communications- in over an hour you have not:

    1. contacted the driver
    2. heard back from the driver
    3. contacted the customer back

    So- she retorts with let me ask you 1 thing: "Did you or did you not, in any way, threaten my agent?"

    Our hero heard a pin drop in the next county!

    He replied: "Whoa! Whoa! What I said was: If there are shenanigans, there will be shenanigans. I did not threaten anyone!" [What he meant was 'directly'.]

    So, another 15 minutes pass and our hero gets another call back from the main manager woman with high confidence in her voice: "Your house; a brick duplex, correct?!" To which our hero replied, "No." My house is wood and PVC siding, yellowish."

    Complete silence on the other end.

    She then said "OK, we are going to send him back out to where he delivered it." Our hero is anxiously pacing, walking in circles around the house looking for somewhere he may have left the 'package' as directed by the main manager woman. (And feeling like a fucking idiot for doing it)

    So, about 1/2 hour passes and the manager lady is back on the phone, knowing that in the 'package' (that was allegedly left, unsigned for, at my alleged front door0 was a brand new cell phone from AT&T. Nervous tension is in her voice now and she surprises our hero after some time by having the driver come to my door. He has my 'package'. It has been opened, the interior box has been opened and everything rummaged through. He asserts our hero's son (who our hero sent outside to answer the door, for fear he might get arrested at this point) that he delivered the 'package' to a house on another block, on another street. The "woman" there opened it. ( a package not addressed to her, or even to someone on 'her' block, mind you)

    The main manager woman asks our hero to inspect the package contents as our hero exclaims "That is not even my address, or my block etc., why would some woman even open it?" She agrees- we agree. At this point 2 + hours have passed and our hero is just tickled to have gotten his new phone and forgives the lady on the other end of this conversation, not the driver, the first 2 'service representatives' or the "woman, who opened the box" [allegedly].

    So, all of this (hopefully) being read:

    Was he (the driver) trying to steal my new cell phone?
    au5t3n5 likes this.
  2. Soup_Monger

    Soup_Monger Should be a custom title here

    Yes.. he was... and our hero should take matters further.

    If Fedex is anything like UPS... then they always prosecute.

    The less thieving postal workers we have .. the better.
  3. zr24x4er

    zr24x4er Huge member

    No, thats why you have it now. He was expecting something cool like a new flashlight or a nice knife to play with but he ended up with your phone. :cry:
  4. Komitadjie

    Komitadjie Jay to the Dee, Y'All!

    Yeah, that just plain sounds fishy. WAY more fishy than a normal delivery hose-up. I'd take that one to the next level, myself.
  5. Clydetz

    Clydetz Forever straight and true Brigade Member

    Did you... the complainee... ask the driver exactly where he delivered the package? Ask him who signed for the package? Ask him to describe the house? Is there such a house on that street? I would say it was a legitimate mistake but one I would not make if I was a Fedex driver! One question... would you have gotten so huffy puffy if the Fedex driver was female?
  6. gzb

    gzb SUPER Moderator* Super Moderator

    NO, he wasn't trying to steal your phone.

    There's bigger fish than a damn cellphone to risk firing/jail for.

    Charge the damn thing up and get talking. And quit being a "Conspiracy behind every bush" type.

    You know, like Solid Soldier... :bwah:

    ETA: So it was the green acid huh...?
  7. Tinysd

    Tinysd Skull Cracker Brigade Member

    If you had bought an iPhone, this never would have happened. :thefinger
  8. Komitadjie

    Komitadjie Jay to the Dee, Y'All!

    Yeah, 'cause the FedEx guy would have been afraid that if he HELD it and tried to make a call, it'd quit working. :devilfinger:
    droid likes this.
  9. nocheese4u

    nocheese4u Notch'yo' cheese! JDBA Official Member

    Mystery boxes are pretty tempting. I would not have opened it though, however it would bug the shit out of me till I got it out of my sight!
  10. lithoman

    lithoman Little member

    Boy am I glad I don't work for fedx....hell Id have all sorts of goodies..:manganr:
  11. Bobert

    Bobert Look what I can do!

    I voted "unsure" because I don't see how anyone could be sure one way or the other. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt though. I had a package delivered to the wrong address, and the people who got it brought it to my house. It wouldn't surprise me at all if some shithead opened a package even though it wasn't addressed to them.
  12. OnceBitten

    OnceBitten Momma said I'd go blind Brigade Member


    Solid Soldier was behind Bush? Things are getting clearer...
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2012
  13. TopHat

    TopHat Drivin' that train..... Brigade Member

  14. OnceBitten

    OnceBitten Momma said I'd go blind Brigade Member

    Fuck off......I was multi-taxing...

  15. jujigatame

    jujigatame Slanted & Enchanted

    I'd give that phone a good once over, see if anything was changed from default settings, etc. Whatever the truth is behind the situation the phone didn't get to you in the condition it should have and the shipper is the one who allowed that to happen.
  16. RNST

    RNST Entrusted Devil Super Moderator


    Better warn the hero that he may trip over the cape while wearing said PJ's. :poke:

    I have had a FedEx shipment state it was delivered and it was indeed delivered. TO a house 10 km away from mine no less.

    I am surprised you were able to get them to go back to the "wrong" house. FedEx explicitly told me they would never do that for a party receiving the shipment. I had to get the shipper to do the legwork to get my shipment sent to me the next day.
  17. ratstuph

    ratstuph Hoodoo Operator Super Moderator

  18. GlockNRolla

    GlockNRolla Intergalactic Booty Hunter

    Did someone say Shenanigans?

    S.Shepherd and Komitadjie like this.
  19. AJD1

    AJD1 Prince Of Darkness Brigade Member

    I don't want to believe these drivers are so stupid,that they would steal shit that

    can be traced,especially when our HERO has such an easily recognizable phone...:bwah:

  20. Komitadjie

    Komitadjie Jay to the Dee, Y'All!

    Yup, easy to spot, stands right out in a crowd.

    See? It's easy, that one just to the left of center...


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