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Valentine's Day Is Coming Quick

crogers Feb 8, 2020

  1. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Well, it looks like it's time for my Valentine's Day present review...

    First up, The Original Bacon Bouquet
    1BaconBouquet.jpeg
    If your significant other is a bacon lover, (and who isn't?) this may be the present for you.
    At a MSRP of $119, or chocolate dipped for only $20 more. I'd just give 'em a few pounds of bacon and let 'em make their own!

    Next, we've got Harry & David Doughnut Bouquet
    2DoughnutBouquet.jpeg
    A mouth watering bouqet on 10 mini cake doughnuts dipped in either white or dark chocolate and topped with some sprinkles. How cute is that?
    BUT, at $49.99 I can pick up a couple dozen Krispy Kremes and be a whole lot happier! NEXT!!

    How about an American Beauty Cupcake Bouquet
    3AmericanBeauty.jpg
    Nope, them ain't roses. They're cupcakes! An assortment of vanilla, chocolate, and red velvet cupcakes decorated with red buttercream frosting.
    Only $72. Too expensive to eat!

    For you jerky lovers, a Beef Jerky Flower Bouquet
    4JerkyBouquet.jpeg
    Beef sticks and jerky arranged to look like flowers. The pic shows a dozen, but it's priced for 1/2 dozen. Kinda deceptive advertising I think.
    At $54 for 6, that's $108 worth of jerky on display. At that price you could buy a cow!

    Then you got your standard Red Velvet Berry Valentine's Day Bouquet
    5RedVelvetBerry.jpeg
    This has got "Valentine's Day" in the name so you KNOW it's gotta be good. Two kinds of strawberries. One chocolate dipped then coated in red velvet cake crumbs and the other chocolate dipped then drizzled with white chocolate.
    For $79.99 let 'em go pick a strawberry field bare! (the field, not them! :shakeit:)

    The Reese's Candy Bouquet
    6ReesesCups.jpeg
    A giant assortment of Reese's peanut butter cups. It even has some stuck to the vase.
    But, for $64.99 you could just pick up a case of Reese's at Costco or Sam's Club.
     
    apdallaround, Kelper and Balibuyer like this.
  2. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Continuing on...

    Sprinkle Hearts Cake Pop Bouquet
    7SprinkleHearts.jpeg
    That's right. Cake pops! Yummm... They claim that diamonds are a girls best friend, but I don't see no diamonds here.
    $49.00 for the vase as shown, but for $42 you can get 'em on a stand or in a box.

    Then it's a Man Crates Salami Bouquet
    8MeatCrates.jpeg
    HEY! That's sexist! Some women might prefer a salami for Valentine's Day! :madaddy:
    Well, grab one of these from Amazon for only $59.99.

    Here's what you've been waiting for... a Heart-Shaped Cookie Bouquet
    9HeartCookies.jpeg
    One whole dozen heart-shaped, buttercream-frosted sugar cookies.
    At $49.99 it's the key to her heart and stomach (and YOUR wallet!:wallet:)

    If you prefer a quiet night in, there's the Movie Night Snack Bouquet
    10MovieNight.jpeg
    Just like a night at the movies with all the theater essentials, jellybeans, gummy bears, Tootsie Rolls, Smarties, chocolate chip cookies and, of course, popcorn.
    At $36.99 it's probably cheaper than a night at the movies!

    Chip-Aholic Bouquet
    11Chips.jpeg
    Sweetie got a snack addiction? Then maybe the Chip-Aholic Bouquet is the choice for you.
    $49.99 buys 12 single-serving bags for the salt addict in your life.

    Finally, we got the Chocolate Roses Bouquet
    12ChocolateRoses.jpeg
    One dozen individually wrapped Belgian chocolate roses.
    At the lowest price on this list, only $12.79, it's the cheap skate's way to combine flowers AND candy.
     
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  3. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Now, what about the man in your life? We don't judge here!

    Chocolate Video Game Controller
    13VideoGame.jpeg
    Can't get his lazy ass off the couch and away from his favorite console. Maybe this will work.
    For only $15.00 it'd be worth a try.

    Star Wars Instant Pot
    14SWPot.jpeg
    Has he spent his whole life around the franchise? Seen ALL the movies, in order, more than once? Maybe he'd like an Instant Pot of his favorite character.
    Available from $79.95-$119.95 at Williams Sonoma. Ron's gonna protest though, I don't see his hero.... :ron:

    Etched Marathon Pint Glass
    15Marathon.jpeg
    If he's into running, pick him up one of these marathon glasses. He can memorize the route while he enjoys a cold one...
    $18.00 is not a ridiculous price....

    Grill Sauce Gift Crate
    16GrillSauce.jpeg
    Big time griller? Can't get the smell of charcoal out of his clothes? Then, maybe he'll enjoy these. The set comes with two barbecue sauces and two grilling sauces.
    Only $31.95 and you may get something tasty out of the deal.

    TRUFF Hot Sauce
    17Truff.jpeg
    :wtf: Truffle infused hot sauce? Well, if you're just getting started, this isn't too expensive to show to care... a little anyway.
    Just $17.98, but why?

    Bacon Roses
    18BaconRoses.jpeg
    Now I'm officially confused. The same store sells a "Bacon Bouquet" for $119, plus $20 if you want it dipped. But, NOW, add a few hearts to the picture and call it "Bacon Roses" and it's only $89.99.
    One thing I'm noticing... the "Men's" gifts are a tad less expensive than the "Women's" gifts....
     
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  4. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Starting this post off with a goodie...
    Craft Beer Candles
    19BeerCandles.jpeg
    Ummm... a candle that smells like beer. Seems that would just make me thirsty.
    $26 EACH seems a bit pricey for something I'm gonna burn. Maybe I'll just light my cigar with a $20 bill....[​IMG]

    Food Network Kitchen Gift Subscription
    20KitchenApp.jpeg
    Oops. My secret's out. You can sorta figure out where a lot of this list comes from. Yep... guilty. I suppose they did need to push their own stuff. If your honey spends a lot of time in the kitchen, it may be good for him OR her....
    But, you can get a one year subscription for only $39.99.

    Signature Truffles Gift Box
    21Truffles.jpeg
    This is NOT the same kind of truffles they use to infuse that hot sauce! These are chocolate and such.
    Get 'em for $49.95 from Godiva. Maybe a naked woman will deliver them!

    Nespresso VertuoPlus
    22Nespresso.jpeg
    I hear George Clooney uses one of these! :lulz:
    For $249.99 I think I'll stick to my 20 year old Mr. Coffee....

    Yeti Cooler
    23Yeti.jpeg
    I've heard a lot of conflicting stories about these. Some videos on YouBoob claim they don't work any better than some of the less expensive models.
    Well, for $199.95 it won't be for me to find out.

    Traeger Wood Pellet Grill and Smoker
    24Grill.jpeg
    I like cooking outside. I use propane and/or chunk charcoal, depending on my mood. Never used no pellets. I used to find a lot of them under my rabbit pen though... :bobert:
    At $599.00 it's the mostest expensive item on this list.

    Well, there ya go. Now, go get something for your sweetie.
     
  5. Samb

    Samb Average Member

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    Save yourself some money and give her a card then go down on her.
     
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  6. Flip Tripper

    Flip Tripper Huge member JDBA Official Member

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    :luvbed::yum:
     
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  7. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Does your Valentine have a sense of humoUr? Then maybe consider...

    Smell My Nuts 13 oz. Mason Jar Candle
    1Nuts.jpg
    How about a scented candle that smells like a sweaty nut sack? NOPE! That's OK 'cause this one smells like banana nut bread, toasted coconut, and hazelnut.
    And, it's only $10.99!

    NiceBalls Dangling Stress Relief Balls
    2Balls.jpg
    What? That's a tea bag set... :bwah: Be careful guys, if ya pissed 'em off, they can give these a good hard squeeze. Unfortunately, it might give 'em ideas!
    $19.99 is not to bad a price for a set of balls like these.

    Wine Condoms Bottle Stopper
    3WineCondom.jpg
    Into safe drinking? Then this set of 6 wine bottle stoppers, er, condoms may be for you. Just stretch it out a bit, then roll it on. Best part is that you'll never need Viagra to get this on.... :bwah:
    $16.99 for a set of six.

    Finally, there's Giant Pierre the Penis Pillow
    4Pierre.jpg
    Giant Pierre the Penis Pillow is a good size. He's cozy and fluffy, too ... a great gift for single friends! Are those feet or balls?
    Only $23.99, butt*, unfortunately, Pierre is currently out of stock but available for pre-order. It may be too late to get one for this Valentine's Day.
     
  8. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Upon further research, I found out that Pierre is available in other sizes...

    Pierre The Penis Pillow is $20.99 and in stock.
    5RegularPierre.jpg

    World's Smallest Pierre the Penis is only $8.99 and will give her something to do with her hands....
    6TinyPierre.jpg

    Then there's the Jumbo Pierre listed at $47.99 but not currently available in the U.S. He's available in other colors. They list them as "white, black, and brown", but I'm not so sure....
    7JumboPierre.jpg
    7JumboPierreWhite.jpg 7JumboPierreBlack.jpg 7JumboPierreBrown.jpg

    Finally, there's the Pierre The Penis Slippers. Only $31.99, but also out of stock. I've got nothing to say.... :lulz:
    8PierreSlippers.jpg
     
  9. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    apdallaround and Kelper like this.
  10. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    apdallaround and Kelper like this.
  11. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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  12. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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  13. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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