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  1. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
     
    littlejoey likes this.
  2. El Gringo

    El Gringo dashing devil

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    You lost me there=?
     
  3. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    Texts from last night.com

    Mabuse got me addicted:devil1:
     
  4. fod

    fod Hand of the Box Master Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    TFLN is hilarious

    (720): Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
     
  5. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
     
    Komitadjie, Parker and stoneman like this.
  6. stoneman

    stoneman Stoney Devil

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    green sent for that find. I laughed so hard everyone rushed in to see what the hell was wrong with me
     
    Towelie likes this.
  7. Lrshot

    Lrshot Patriotic Devil

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    I have been waiitng for a simple explanation for all of that. Thank you, so now, where to begin.....:bwah:
     
  8. jimmer_5

    jimmer_5 Buckaroo

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    (775):
    My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.



    This one made me laugh.....
     
    LurtzWV-6 and Towelie like this.
  9. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    I liked that one cause it happened to me in the 70's

    This one was good.

     
  10. TacoMan5000

    TacoMan5000 TacoDevilMan

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    (810):
    She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.

    (970):
    just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

    (916):
    Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

    (787):
    She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
     
  11. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    my buddy tends to send me the good ones everytime he comes across them. Enjoy!:

    (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse'
    then yes, we are.

    (619): went to library to start paper due tomorrow and took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.

    (615): i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

    (540): And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

    (586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

    (512): At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

    (919): guys are only as good as the porn they watch

    (651): I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

    (248): I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
     
    LurtzWV-6 likes this.
  12. RoyalM

    RoyalM Commando Devil Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    I fear I may be adding to this thread if Ron gets his way in NY.

    "So then he turns up with this huge knife with a dildo for a handle..........''
     
  13. TacoMan5000

    TacoMan5000 TacoDevilMan

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    (812):
    My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
     
  14. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    gold

    (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
    (571): was that a mass text??
     
  15. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    wow

    (804): she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
     
  16. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    (612):
    maybe i'll see you again later :)

    (774):
    I'd rather shit a knife.
     
  17. fod

    fod Hand of the Box Master Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    (612):

    I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.


    :bwah:
     
  18. fod

    fod Hand of the Box Master Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    (603):

    I just saw the nastiest chick.
    (1-603):

    Where?
    (603):

    woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you



    :bwah:
     
    Ironwolf likes this.
  19. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    (631):
    You only like me because I'm a challenge
    (201):
    You already blew me
    _________________________​

    (407): View more from Florida
    she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
    _________________________​

    (203):
    my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
    (973):
    just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
    _________________________​

    (727):
    and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
    _________________________​

    (785):
    It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
     
  20. TacoMan5000

    TacoMan5000 TacoDevilMan

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    (608):
    Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
     

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