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So I buy some form fitting underwear

longbow Sep 19, 2017

  1. longbow

    longbow scratch n sniffer

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    Yep, me who was all about going jungle all my life on my Dr.'s advice, due to a good case of jock itch, have decided to start wearing underwear on a regular basis. Supposed to alleviate the tineaus cruis jock itches stink itis(eyetis). Yep smells a bit like fish and sour dough starter. Just sayin being the scratch and sniffer.

    So this ain't about that all though partially it is. I am in a super Walmart about a week ago doing a bit of shopping and just happen by a display of under wear. Form fitting underwear kind of like boxers. This particular model had a nice smooth comfortable feeling and what I noticed was a nice big pouch for the dewey and my coopers. Not only that but they had a bunch of holes through out to aid cooling on hot days which it has been here for the past 2 weeks. What could be better than that to prevent the itch. Grab'em I did and was quite happy with myself.

    Well today is the day I broke out a pair and put them on. Nice albeit a bit tight but not unduly and a nice smooth feel and ventilated to boot as stated. So I am doing shit around the house just kind of fucking around and after 3 cups of coffee gotta drain one. So go into the bathroom reach through my fly for good old dewey and holy shit I says where is the fly thing on the friggin underwear. Now I am 63 and when I have to go, I have to go and being in the bathroom well just ads to the anxiety and anxiousness to drain one. Well that ain't happening to fast and I am getting pissed sort of. So down come my jeans and I had put the dumb ass things on backwards. Quick switcharoo and concentration is a plus here cause you know I'm old and gotta piss. Get everything back to ready and reach through and WTF! Still can't find the drain hole for the underwear so pull em down in front and piss, and not necessarily in the toilet cause being old and shit and used to having dewey do his own thing there I did manage to relieve myself.

    So I am saying WTF again and I am friggin mad with having to get the clorox cleaner and paper towel to clean up the dribs and drabs. So get that done and take off my jeans and my underwear and look at them and yep there ain't no friggin piss hole for my dewey. What kind of shit is this. These are Haines underwear and I had the wrapper and stuff I'd look up who actually makes them write up a letter as how assanine it is to have underwear with no piss hole. I think they came like 8 to a pack. $13 wasted on underwear I"ll never wear again. So there ya go, I'll try regular boxers now and if they don't work back to jungle man. This is my story and I am telling this so none of you others fellas make the same mistake I did. keepem sharp and thanks for listening.

    PS new topic too!
     
  2. stdlrf11

    stdlrf11 A Most Impressive Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    And the TMI of the Year award goes to.....













    :bwah:
     
    Pointy, GEEZER, Jim L. and 9 others like this.
  3. begreen61

    begreen61 Deadicated JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    Too funny,,
     
  4. seandavid55

    seandavid55 JDBA4L JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    Better not mark those as new when you put them up in Voodoo.
     
  5. begreen61

    begreen61 Deadicated JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    :lmao:
     
    GODDESS OF VENGEANCE and Kelper like this.
  6. Bobert

    Bobert Look what I can do!

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    Try this, scrub your balls with Industrial Strength Ajax, rinse them with Formula 409 (make sure you get the Multi-Surface one), then dip them in Simple Green. I have no idea if this will actually cure your RCBS, but it's bound to work better than your scratch and sniff method......
     
  7. hickory

    hickory JDBA OFFICIAL Member JDBA Official Member

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    what the actual hell is this post?
     
  8. gzb

    gzb SUPER Moderator* Super Moderator

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    Next time you decide to buy underwear again Longbow, doublecheck to make sure you're in the Mens Section.
    The nice shade of Pink should have been the giveaway...
     
  9. ratstuph

    ratstuph Hoodoo Operator Super Moderator

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    A common issue as our bodies change, or fashion/retailers make our previous underoo choices unavailable.

     
  10. Chrisommer

    Chrisommer Little member JDBA Official Member

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    I have never used the "drain hole" in my underwear. I always unzip and pull the front down. I figured the majority of people did it this way, I am now thinking I am the minority.

    Any was else skip the "drain hole"???

    I gotta piss now, guess I will give it a go.
     
  11. hickory

    hickory JDBA OFFICIAL Member JDBA Official Member

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    A day later, and upon careful reading, I find this post acceptable... my approval being worth what you have paid for it.
     
  12. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    I seriously expected this ^^^ to be the punchline.

    I am disappointed.
     
  13. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

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    :useless:


    (I'm thinkin' we're safe here because longbow doesn't even have an avi pic ... but I've been wrong many times before ... )
     
  14. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    I quote an old quote :unintroduced: "Be careful what you ask for... you just MIGHT get it!" :bwah:
     
  15. longbow

    longbow scratch n sniffer

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    Wrote this to be kind of humorous and at the same time, wondering how a company can make underwear without the "dewey" hole or fly or what have you. Also cause I was tired or looking at the same post for weeks at a time, kind of trying to stir things up a bit ya know. Also note that I mentioned they are Haines, well they aren't, they are Fruit of the Loom brand and for bad mouthing Haines I am truly sorry. Just goes to show ya how much I've worn underwear in my adult years. Thanks for all the comments. Stir the pot I say. keepem sharp
     
  16. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    Without pics, I keep having images of guy's rushing to get their Willy's out. Us, girls have it easy I think. :bobert:
     
    crogers likes this.
  17. gzb

    gzb SUPER Moderator* Super Moderator

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    But you can't draw and sign your name in the snow...
     
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  18. Bobert

    Bobert Look what I can do!

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    You curious about what stinky cheese balls look like, or are you just looking for something new to draw? :bwah:
     
    Kelper likes this.
  19. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    :LOL3: That's true.
     
    crogers likes this.
  20. Bobert

    Bobert Look what I can do!

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    You can always borrow something to write with.....
     
    Kelper and crogers like this.

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