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  1. elusiveweasle

    elusiveweasle Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    So......

    You ever get tired of being kicked in the nuts? Ever dream of walking into the woods and not coming back? Dude I'm past that point.

    Everyone has a fucking issue and I'm supposed to solve it. A 19 year old miscreant son locked up in county jail, daughter and son-in-law that cant get their shit together and have to live with us, other daughter that goes to a school that has gang fights breaking out in it, a younger son that is going through the usual preteen death and despair stage, and a wife that rips me a new one if i spend a buck seventy five on a hot dog at 7-11. They say you can't please everyone but sometimes I feel like I can't please anyone. Living in an environment where expressing your opinion gets you chastised and laying down the law gets you hated is a real fucking drag.

    On top of all this fucking shit, I have to make the hard choices but get no support when I do so. Here's a good one. Wife bailed the kiddo out of jail and he splits. Bond was big enough to put a hurting on us but not big enough for the bondsman to send the dogs out looking. So I had to do it. Wife was in a panic that would get hit with having to pay said bond. So I hit the streets, track the little shithead down and get him apprehended. He's still facing two felonies and two aggravated misdemeanors from his little "I think I'm all about the thug life" crime spree. Not once do I hear good job, you did the right thing, this is whats best. Nothing but crickets in the peanut gallery.

    Round two.

    Daughter and son-in-law can't afford a pack of Pez, let alone support themselves and their son. However that doesn't stop them from getting pregnant again. Now son-in-law wants a new car. I can't fix the old one, it will cost too much blah, blah, blah........ yet incurring another monthly expense will be less costly? Not to mention his inability to maintain stable employment, balance a budget, and make sound decisions.

    I'm surrounded by indifference, indecisiveness, and incompetence. Sometimes I feel like my fucking head is going to explode!!!!

    I know we here tend to be of the mind "don't put your shit out there on the web" but this is the only place I can vent safely away from family.

    End of rant. Thanks for letting me vent.
     
    Kelper likes this.
  2. Glenn

    Glenn Sol Invictus Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Did it have onions ? If not you spent to much. :devilfinger:


    :bwah::bwah::bwah:

    Oh, and your not alone at "the wheel" , I have on my plate for all in the home too. Ever since my wife underwent that surgery, our lives have changed dramatically, I'm a care giver on a whole new level. I really need to update that thread to what the last 2 years since has dealt us. :cry:

    Chin high. :devilcorn:
     
  3. stdlrf11

    stdlrf11 A Most Impressive Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Sounds rough.

    Good luck getting out of this situation
     
  4. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    consider this place therapy.

    we're better than the voices inside your head.
     
  5. ratstuph

    ratstuph Hoodoo Operator Super Moderator

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    Quit reinforcing undesirable behavior...; hard to do when you love the recipient(s) or others disagree. Also, I'm much better at typing it on a forum than I am at doing it.
     
  6. Mr.LaBella

    Mr.LaBella ←The № 1 Devil→ Administrator

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    Sad to say it but, next time leave thug life locked up..Tell son in law to grow the fuck up, and try to verbalize to your wife or this will only get worse.:devilcorn:

    Next Saturday we are offering group therapy at The Station Bar & Grill in Garwood NJ. :jdwink2:
     
  7. dymond47

    dymond47 Better than gold or platinum

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    Hoping things get better for you soon, Jason.
     
  8. TKC

    TKC Earthbound misfit Lady Devil

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    Damn, that is rough!! I am sorry that you are going through all of this. All I can do is to pray for you.
     
  9. waterdogs

    waterdogs Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    That`s a real tough spot to be in....positive thoughts headed your way ! :thumbsup:
     
  10. corjzg

    corjzg Hittin' Switches

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    My advice by person:
    Wife: Based on your post I think this is the biggest issue. Youre clearly on different pages and not working as a team as well as you could. Consider writing some of this stuff down & going offsite somewhere private to hash it out. Chances are she might have some frustrations similar to yours, or her own grievances you may be missing in the chaos. Finances seem to be a recurring theme, you have to get an agreeable budget in place. & make sure you allow for a date nite out or day trip somewhere once in awhile. Things wont seem so hopeless once you both work as a team towards your goals as a couple, & supporting your grown kids financially shouldnt be one of them. Assuming you two can come to terms on how to fix/manage things, & dont decide to split, here's the rest:
    Older son: He's too young to write off but too old for this BS. His 2 felonies could have longlasting neg effects on his future & see him in prison. Not good. He should try anything possible to plead them down and pickup a trade before conviction &/or prison. If he ends up living with you he has to work and leave rhe street behind. My father used to say "youre under my house? My rules". And "you might think youre tough, but prison's filled with 1000 tough guys". My mom told me when I was 15 (& I declared I was leaving HS upon my 16 bday): "Military, college, or 33% of your take-home F/T pay to the house, your choice". College it is Ma! These thug friends will all be dead, in jail, or MIA in 10 yrs. Family is forever. Time to grow up or get out. Make sure the wife is ready for his possible departure. A short time in real world could be the wake up call he needs.
    Older daughter: same mantra for the son in law. Consider charging them reasonable rent but putting away a % for a future apt/house. Nix the new car for a dependable user. He'll need to get to work, unless u have a loaner for him. If they're going to stay with you, no more kids for time being (ie the pill). Women are most fertile in the months following childbirth & they dont need a 3rd. They dont like it, off to public housing and WIC cards. It sounds like the wife mollycoddles them a bit. Playtime is over.
    Younger son/daughter: not much you can do here, save for trying to use the older two as examples not to follow, keep them focused on school, sports/constructive hobbies, and maybe PT jobs. Idle hands & all that. Insert yourself into their lives more so you can head problems off at the pass. Sched weekly-ish meetings with wife to review $ and adapt to the changing dynamics. Take some you time to clear your head by doing something solo once a week. Make all of them do weekly chores to lighten your load if they dont already. You have a lot of Marines in the bloodline, might be time for Gunny Sgt Ermlee style mgmt ala FMJ! Hang in there & Good luck!
     
    desmodus likes this.
  11. Rio

    Rio Como un angel JDBA Official Member Knife Maker or Craftsman Brigade Member

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    "Have to", ??? They are 18 years old right?? Do not enable them(it does not help) , imho kicking them to the curb will make them grow the fuck up quick. What they do is their Own fucking problem, not yours.Tough love is the only way my friend.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2016
  12. Glenn

    Glenn Sol Invictus Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    I still think he got ripped off on the Hot-dog, if it had no onions. :ropeman:

    :bwah:
     
  13. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    Vasectomies and tubal ligation for the lot of em. When they can afford to reverse it they can go back to breeding.:devilcorn:

    Keep your chinup. I was once the royal fuck up in my family. Living on my own taught me that my friends were shit heels.
     
  14. HedaCoon

    HedaCoon *is not a coon Lady Devil JDBA Official Member

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    Woah man. That really sucks. I get ya when some of the things are just freaking common sense but for some reason, seems like nobody else gets it.
    Rant away if that'll help you feel even a little bit better.

    I say it's time to give your daughter and the son in law the boots....and your other son that's locked up. Give them all zee boots! Ungrateful bunch :fakeout:
     
  15. Amotek

    Amotek Eerie Ver Sable Brigade Member

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    I would like to report a clown sighting! :bwah::madaddy::ross::madaddy::bwah:
     
  16. desmodus

    desmodus Arc Sodium Administrator Lady Devil JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    was it an ass clown?
     
  17. jjhamilton

    jjhamilton JDBA4L JDBA Official Member

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    Have to agree, it's no longer your place to control their lives...it's theirs. As sad as it may be or hard to accept, they have choices just as you did, you made yours and you live that outcome..well it's their choices now. Free yourself of their chains of choice...
     
    Rio likes this.
  18. sickboy

    sickboy Marsupial Brigade Member

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    We all make choices in life. You have to live with theirs, they can live with yours. Don't let anyone begrudge you that.

    sickboy
     
  19. Sheldon_Wickersham

    Sheldon_Wickersham Blue Star Knives Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    I was shown the door at age sixteen; coming up on forty years of touring the world, soon. Things may be different now, but a swift kick in the pants was all I needed...
     
    ded i likes this.
  20. elusiveweasle

    elusiveweasle Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    Update:

    My jailbird son just got an additional 6 months for resisting arrest.

    He's my son and I love bim, but he's earned everything that he's going through.

    I know that sounds harsh as fuck, but it's how I feel.
     

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