1. **ATTENTION ALL DEVILS** If you are still having trouble logging in, (Resetting your password should do "the trick") Optimum Online is blocking JD emails for some reason*, OR if you are not technically capable of doing this; use the "Contact Us" form utilizing your current, valid email address. If your email address is 'lost' to you, simply providing some account details will get us on the correct path together. THERE IS NO NEED TO CREATE SECONDARY ACCOUNTS, STOP BEING SO LAZY! YOU WILL BE BANNED! (Yelling/impolite voice implied there for *maximum effect*)
    Dismiss Notice

~Nosey c*#t neighbor!!!

beergoddess Apr 10, 2009

  1. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

    so..i have this neighbor thats a total busy-body twat. when we moved into this house last year, she was the 1st to come running over to give me the lowdown on the entire block. what she hadn't realized was that my husband grew up in this house long before her transplanted lane bryant sweatsuit wearing ass moved down from a certain boro of ny. (which shall remain nameless, lest i should offend!) we bought the house from my father in law when his renters moved out. the 1st day we met she proceeded to tell me how the guy on the end was a drunk, the lady in the blue house has PITBULLS *gasp* and she called the police about...but they told her "um, yeah. she's ALLOWED to own whatever dog she so desires!" she has since called the police about my nextdoor neighbor letting his guinea hens loose, (so what..they eat ticks!) and the guy around the way about having unregistered cars in his yard (big-fukkin-deal). she also complained to the twp about my F-I-L's boat being an attractive nuisense that could harm her kids (keep the lil fuckers outta my yard and they'll be fine!)

    so...fast forward to today's debacle. i tied my hyper nutball of a weimeraner outside for a lil RnR and fresh air. well... he chewed thru the tie out and went on the lam. (which he does any chance he can!) i got into my car and searched for him to no avail. a short time later i saw the animal control wagon down the road. so, i walk over and tell them "sorry, he's mine". the 2 officers were like "k..but we are waiting on a callback to see if we can release him 2 you. there is allegations of abuse and neglect" i was floored!! so..nosey twat pipes in and says "he has wounds on his leg AND genitalia. and another neighbor saw your husband smack him". now... the only person in any real danger at this point was her...cuz i was FUMING! i was like oh really..lets see these "wounds"! she points out a hotspot on his hind that he has been chewing. my reply.."he has a dermatitis that his vet is well aware of! next?" she points to his nipple that is pretty damn big. my reply "yea, i noticed that too. which is why i took him to the vet only a month ago and he told me its engorged from a surge in hormones since he's intact. next?" she says. "thats no hot spot..its a cut. i was a dog trainer for 30 yrs! he also has a scar from a previous cut!" my reply? "uh, yea, stupid...thats from his $3000 fucking surgery!! on a neglected dog, right? but an experienced self proclaimed dog expert would surely know that, right? then i told her to get her ass back in her house and get a life. why the fuck was i explaining myself to her? the 2 animal control guys thought she was a douche and let dozer out of the paddy wagon and straight into his mamas arms. yea, jump up and lick the hell outta my face. the first thing an abused dog's gonna do.
    and the part about mike hitting him? i told her and the officers. yea... he ran away and wouldnt come back. he got slapped. so would my kids. whats your point? the black officer got a good laugh out of that one. just pisses me off that this cunt coulda cost me and my kids our family pet.

    ED note...are nipples even genitalia? i didnt think so..
    RNST and Anchorblew like this.
  2. Clydetz

    Clydetz Forever straight and true Brigade Member

    Does this woman neighbor work at the circus by any chance? I guess she won't be stopping by for coffee in the near future. :devil1:
  3. b-mac

    b-mac Mac Daddy Devil

    got one of them myself. we went on vacation, and asked her kids to feed the cat. we left them a key. we get home to find out that she'd been letting them come over to our house to hang out and watch tv. are you f-ing kidding me? if we let the cat outside, god forbid, she'll actually show up at the door with the cat and insist that he go back inside. i guess it gets cold in august... she almost called the cops when she saw the cat with a bird that he'd killed. i hate people!
  4. 2fulhundin

    2fulhundin Official Retard

    The world would be a better place if there were more people like her, to watch out for others. Stupid Bitch. I would have been the one in the Paddy Wagon!
  5. Steelshaper

    Steelshaper knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman

    O.K. I got one for ya. I will try and keep it short. I have a little hobby farm, dogs chickens horses and a cat. Well a couple years ago someone gave my wife a sheep. Specificly a Shetland ram. He was full grown but only weighed about 75 pounds and was only about knee high. He got out of his pen while I was away for work. my wife looked for him as much as she could searching all over the country side even though the day he got loose was the opening day of rifle season. After a few days I got back home found out what was going on and started looking for him too. We had called animal control the sheriff and everyone else we could think of. We talked to all our neighbors we could and finally found him but could not catch him. The next day we get a call.

    I am still not clear on the details but this guy says the sheep atacked him and his house so he shot it. He wanted me to come and pick up the body from his yard. He threatened to sue me. He said the sheep had busted a window out of his house. I told him to go ahead and try.

    A friend help butcher the poor little bugger. As it turns out he had been shot at least 5 times. There was not much usable meat left. I did eat some.

    This is NOT a joke.

    This guy called again and again wanting money. I told him to stuff it.
    Of course there was no lawsuit.

    He claimed he was atacked by a miniture sheep that broke out a window in his house. He did not call the police.
    There was no longer a sheep as he had me pick it up.
    What a fucking ass!

    Some poeple just fucking suck!

    On the bright side the wife has not brought home any more sheep.

    As for nipples being genitalia;

    If a 16 year old girl can be charged with having child porn for showing pictures of herself in a bra than I am afraid that maybe yes nipples are now genitalia. :ssad:
  6. SSandshark1050

    SSandshark1050 Devil @ heart

    Man do I ever hate people like this, only at least you have a good one ha ha!!

    The dude across the street is some 40 yr old boy livin with his mom but if you ask him, she's livin with him. He's in love with his garden and some of the stray cats we feed shit in his marigolds and he actually shot one with a pellet gun! I called the PD but there was no proof so I personally squirted green dish soap all over his bitch ass plants along with some salt to make sure nothing grows again. His plants were takin' a bubble bath when his sprinklers came on and the word "ASSHOLE" was spelled out in rapidly yellowing grass on his golf course green lawn..... in 5 foot tall letters.

    Long story short, he knows why... :cheesydevil:

    Nobody fucks with my pets...

    Thought you could use a laugh Beergoddess!

    Edit to add:

    People like that will be the first to call the cops but somehow run from confrontation that results from it ha ha

    Chances are the bitch will look at her shoes when you come rolling by. Take comfort in that but remember you are now the crazy lady with the husband who beats dogs.. at least that's the way she'll tell it! ha ha
  7. Ironwolf

    Ironwolf BANNED Fucktard

    I'm willing to bet EVERYONE in your 'hood feels the same about her as you do:
    I lived in a building that had a woman like that.
    She kinda hit on me a time or two in the elevator,
    and while she was quite attractive,
    her mouth made me wanna throw her down
    the elevator shaft her within 60 seconds...
    So,after the second time of 'declining her advances',
    alla sudden I'm getting weird sidelong glances
    from some folks inna building.
    All who were real friendly when I moved in,
    and was helpin' them fix stuff,etc.
    After a few of them came and warned me what was goin' on
    (she was now telling them she "heard" I was out on parole
    or some shit,and had done something nasty,
    and was some hard-core drug-dealer and biker scum...
    I went to the owners of the building,
    filed a complaint,with witnesses and character references attesting,
    and then got a petition together
    (135 out of 160 tenants signed),and got her 'vacated'.
    If you and all your neighbors put it on paper
    that you're all sick of her mouth,
    she'll soon enough be the weird broad nobody ever sees
    other than her peekin' outta her closed drapes at the rest of you...
  8. RoadFish

    RoadFish Cathar Knight

    You should have asked the Animal Control Officers to take the bitch away, she was acting rabid! :cheesydevil:
    ded i likes this.
  9. Katwyld

    Katwyld Devil Doll Lady Devil

    Good gods... I will admit to having called animal control, but it was for repeated incidents and on two dogs that are constantly loose in the neighborhood (people that don't seem to understand what a leash law is), and one of which charged me when I was walking one of my dogs. Other than that... No, sorry, if she had ANY clue, she'd know the difference between an abused dog and a 'clumsy' one.
  10. TPyke


    I cannot stand people like that, and it seems like there's one on every street.
    At least you stood up to her and got your dog back.
    Unfortunately, now she'll probably have an extra vigilant eye on you and your suspicious activities..:roll:
  11. SugarSkull

    SugarSkull Ring Of Bone

    The world is a freak show. :cheesydevil:
  12. tubtar

    tubtar high caliber consecrator Moderator Super Moderator Brigade Member

    Fortunately , I am the ring master.
    SugarSkull likes this.
  13. SugarSkull

    SugarSkull Ring Of Bone

    At least we have a teacher within the JD.:devilinheaven:
  14. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

    And all of us are players.

    Except Tubtar

    He really is the Ring master.
  15. Rover

    Rover Rock N' Roll Outlaw JDBA Official Member

    You had me at Lane Bryant. Fucking classic.
  16. Ken Brock

    Ken Brock Who's Awesome? Super Moderator

    sorry you're having problems like this but it seems that every neighborhood has them

    when I worked in patrol I had to listen to bullshit complaints like that all the time

    but with my award winning customer service, the complainer was usually the one sent packing with advice to STFU

    glad the animal control guys saw through the bullshit
  17. lachrymalex

    lachrymalex hellion on point

    LMAO@"lane bryant sweatsuit wearing ass"
  18. tmik

    tmik Midwest Knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman


    BG, could you post another rant like this?

    it kinda did something for me...
  19. BG, get yourself down to your local pet store. Preferably one that stocks stuff for lizards. Buy a nice big pot of live crickets. Wait until the old fucker's asleep and let the crickets in through her letterbox. They breed like fuck, and make a helluva noise. Hopefully they'll drive the old cunt so batty she'll slip a shotgun in her mouth.
  20. RNST

    RNST Entrusted Devil Super Moderator

    Damn, what a load of crap you had to go through. That cow needs to get a friken life!

    Guess you have a new place to dump doggie doo doo whenever its dark and there are no witnesses.


Share This Page