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My wart is burntier than your wart.

TheMightyGoat Jul 6, 2007

  1. TheMightyGoat

    TheMightyGoat foots dixon

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    Our tale of wartiness begins about six years ago, when I got my first wart on the bottom of my left heel. A plantar wart, as it turned out. I was content to leave it alone for the most part, only picking at it now and then. However, over the course of about a year, it spread to a total of twenty-one warts over the bottoms of both of my feet. Finally tired of them, one night I sat down with a lighter and a screwdriver and burned them all out.

    My feet healed, and I never saw any sign of the warts again. At least not until a few months ago - that first wart on my left heel reappeared in the exact same place after all that time. So, knowing it would only spread again, I used a soldering iron to burn it deeper and try to get all the root.

    Apparently that still wasn't enough. The wart is back again. This time I'll have to make sure I get it deeper.

    The wart.
    [​IMG]

    It seems to have emerged this time with two heads.
    [​IMG]

    The first step of removal is to cut out the layer of callus to expose the root.
    [​IMG]

    Once the perimeter of the cut is outlined, it can be pared from underneath.
    [​IMG]

    Having severed the head of the wart and removed the top layers of skin, I find red stringy stuff.
    [​IMG]

    It was pulled out with pliars to allow access to the root. The pliars can be seen in the background holding a chunk of red.
    [​IMG]

    Now the root will have to be burned again. Having been failed by a lighter as well as a soldering iron, I find this heat source more appropriate.
    [​IMG]

    After heating up a screwdriver in the blowtorch I insert it into my warthole.
    [​IMG]

    The crispified bits of wart and foot can be seen on the end of the screwdriver.
    [​IMG]

    Reheating the screwdriver, a streak of orange flame can be seen trailing the tip as things that used to be part of my foot burn off from it.
    [​IMG]

    A shot of the warthole after burning.
    [​IMG]

    Some of the burnt flesh removed; area cleaned up a little.
    [​IMG]

    Break for burger.
    [​IMG]

    Continuing, here's a shot of some of the burn stuff pulled out with pliars.
    [​IMG]

    The screwdriver leaves a distinct impression of its tip burned into the warthole.
    [​IMG]

    Mostly blood caked to the screwdriver.
    [​IMG]

    After several more heated insertions, the burning in the hole is more evenly distributed. This condition also describes why your mother walks with a limp on Sunday mornings.
    [​IMG]

    At this time it occurs to me that I might increase my wart-burning efficiency if I switch to an instrument with greater surface area. The flat, round bottom from this de-handled screwdriver should do. I've wrapped the tip in electrical tape so as to not burn my fingers.
    [​IMG]

    After heating in the torch I insert the screwdriver shenk into my warthole. It is hot enough that it burns to my flesh with sufficient resistance to hold its own weight and hang from the warthole. It is not supported by the trashcan.
    [​IMG]

    More efficient indeed. I've now burnt the entire surface area of the warthole with a single insertion. The warthole feels very rigid to the touch and one would not think it to be part of a foot, were he to touch it blindfolded. It has stopped bleeding due to blood vessels being cauterized simultaneously.
    [​IMG]

    I cut away the burnt flesh from the bottom of the warthole. It is adequately burnt that I don't feel anything as I cut into about 1/4" of tissue. As I do so, it resumes bleeding.
    [​IMG]

    Filth crusted onto the screwdriver shenk.
    [​IMG]

    After another pass, the warhole darkens as more blood is burnt onto the flesh, and I can no longer get the hole to stop bleeding.
    [​IMG]

    I figure that should be deep enough. It shouldn't come back now. In retrospect, though, I think my effort to lay down paper towels was in vain.
    [​IMG]

    Today, four days after the fact, this is what the warthole looks like.
    [​IMG]
     
    ded i likes this.
  2. G3

    G3 Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    It's gonna come back again. This time in four smaller spots. Your last pic in the set still looks like there's some residual matter.

    You should try a concaved blade like a small wood chisel. X-acto may even have a scooper blade. At least they used to.

    The screwdriver was good but you need to improvise more. Get creative. Really go for it.
     
  3. Bruce

    Bruce New Jersey's *other* Bruce

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    Good Fucking Grief! I hope your sterilizing everything and liberally using antiseptics while doing you own surgery. I hope you are using STERILE bandages and gauze. You DO NOT want to get any foot infections, I'm under the care of a podiatrist for months because of them. Please, take it from someone whose suffered with foot problems for years, BE CAREFUL!
     
  4. TheMightyGoat

    TheMightyGoat foots dixon

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    Fire is sterile. :goat:
     
  5. G3

    G3 Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    I hope there's an egg on that burger!


    Homer threatening: "Bacon up that sausage, boy"
     
  6. gzb

    gzb SUPER Moderator* Super Moderator

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    Nice job! Looking forward to the video series on the Discovery/Health Channel...
     
  7. Brian

    Brian flstf99

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    Goat, you are KING!

    Thank you for posting a real goatworthy operation! :jdwink2:

    Oh, and you need a lazer man, for real.
     
  8. BennytheBlade

    BennytheBlade Fate is Inexorable JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Goaterrific.
     
  9. Poolshark

    Poolshark Captain America Brigade Member

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    Good Grief! Did you start with compound W and work your way up? Or just dive in with the home surgery kit? If it gets gangrenous have you chosen the amputation saw yet? Hacksaw or SAK?
     
  10. TacoMan5000

    TacoMan5000 TacoDevilMan

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    That's easily the nastiest, cringiest thing I've seen in some time. How the hell do you do something like that to yourself?
     
  11. FireMonkey

    FireMonkey throws poop Lady Devil

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    A Goat amputation, now that would be interesting!

    You've redeemed yourself from the fibers thread. Good job!
     
  12. MJ

    MJ a most pure angel Lady Devil

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    As always, a quality post.

    I hope it heals quickly. :)
     
  13. Nathan S

    Nathan S Vaffanculo!!

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    Umm, wow. I have a plantar's wart on my left heel, but there's no way I'm going to do anything like that. I leave it alone, and it leaves me alone.
     
  14. Borongas

    Borongas Smokes Rocks

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    YES! man that is awesome, you must be on some crasy drugs :spin:
     
  15. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

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    Who wants to fuck goat :bladewolf



    The sandwich ...

    dear fucking christo that burger ... :bwah:

    ... and the recurring mountain dew theme ... :yesman:

    Chris Burden - eat your heart out ... :signhere:


    [Burden’s the man who allowed himself to be shot in the arm with a .22-caliber rifle in 1971 as an artistic statement on the Vietnam war.]
     
  16. The General

    The General The Devil's General Brigade Member

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    Did it hurt?:bwah:
     
  17. Holy fucking shit,Goat...........really........I mean really.........





    ....I mean...REALLY fucking REALLY speechless here.




    ....you......fucking........rule...for a totally insane wierdo. But it's like...I totally love that about you. :eyes:
     
  18. Stabber

    Stabber Stabber's Steel Connection Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    :devilzeek Now that's a Goatman thread!!!:devilzeek :spin:
     
  19. Brian

    Brian flstf99

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    I can definetly dig the artistic expression in Goats operations. Maybe he's the new Van Gogh??? :bwah:
     
  20. MadDaddy

    MadDaddy Pat in the box

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    You mean, Van Goat :soupy:

    I can't wait to see the home amputation kit....we should take bets on what part he will slice open, burn or cut off next.
     
    ded i likes this.

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