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International Rules of Manhood

L33731 Feb 21, 2006

  1. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

    13,474
    7,866
    123

    That's right, GOV! All us girlz understand the rulez - we don't want to encourage Brian to compromise his ethics :ssmile:

    :heart: Brian
     
  2. Stabber

    Stabber Stabber's Steel Connection Knife Maker or Craftsman

    25,716
    1,687
    0
    The mans rulz

    [FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]
    The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (
    I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear
    "the rules "
    >From the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong..
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really ..

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or
    golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -

    to give them a bigger laugh

    [/FONT]
     
    ded i, lohengrin and Jeff Marshall like this.
  3. Mactruck101279

    Mactruck101279 Huge member

    291
    7
    0
    MANS RULZ

    Hey STABBER;
    RIGHT ON BUDDY! "THEY" (Women Folk) won't buy it, but you absolutely hit the nail right on the fucking head! OUTSTANDING my friend!
    Regards,
    Kevin
     
  4. lohengrin

    lohengrin Kiwi Viking

    74
    19
    0
    Brilliant!

    green sent
     
  5. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

    13,474
    7,866
    123
    :yesman: :D:

    It's so simple really .... :idunno:


    :bwah:
     
  6. fishmonger

    fishmonger FishDevil

    743
    324
    0
    Good luck with that stabber:manganr: I will come to visit you in the hospital.

    ATB,

    Jim
     
  7. Stabber

    Stabber Stabber's Steel Connection Knife Maker or Craftsman

    25,716
    1,687
    0
    How'd you know my wifes Sicilian Jim?:thefinger
     
  8. dazr4

    dazr4 Huge member

    326
    33
    0
    Men's Rules

    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys side of the story.

    We always hear " the Rules "
    From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl.. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duri ng commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1.. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes..

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. round is a shape!

    1. Th ank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigg er laugh.
    Somebody slap that man…..I know the logic on the toilet seat makes sense to men but that doesn't lessen the anger when you fall into the toilet in the middle of the night and get the unplanned sitz bath!
     
  9. Ironwolf

    Ironwolf BANNED Fucktard

    2,735
    421
    0
    He forgot a couple:

    Revised:
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl.. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    **1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.Really,Really.Please...that's blackmail...

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    **1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.We're not lost,we're...exploring.

    **1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    Oh,and no,we won't wear pink,even if you DO call it 'Salmon".Really.Please...
    ...that's blackmail...

    **1.. If 'they' itch, 'they' will be scratched.
    We do that.You rub your eyes in the morning,because you don't have any.

    **1.Farting is...our way of countering the impending Global Cooling.(yes,the scientists ARE wro...wron...mistaken)
    Besides,trees convert that to oxygen...don't they?

    **1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle...um,hey,that's blackmail...

    **1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    Unless it's one you give us,and in that case,don't bother asking;you already know the right answer.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really .

    **1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or golf,or cars,or motorcycles,or guns,or knives,or how just once YOU could take out the garbage,rake the leaves...(we are after all,equal,right?...that's blackmail...)

    1. You have enough clothes...Really.

    **1. You have too many shoes.Really,REALLY...

    *!!!*1.No.There IS no such thing as too many knives...(Um,about those shoes?We were wro...wron...mistaken.)

    1. I am in shape. round is a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    **But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Without the bugs.Or you stealing the blankets.Or farting because you're asleep
    and don't know we heard that.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
    Somebody slap that man…..I know the logic on the toilet seat makes sense to men but that doesn't lessen the anger when you fall into the toilet in the middle of the night and get the unplanned sitz bath!
     
  10. Rock

    Rock Kowulz.com

    1,345
    307
    0
    Man Rules

    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down​

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear the rules from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as knives or boobs.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
     
  11. RNST

    RNST Entrusted Devil Super Moderator

    14,388
    1,871
    123
    :moved-smiley:


    Let's put this one in the re post sub forum.
     
  12. Manganr

    Manganr Devils Supermoderator Super Moderator

    4,589
    832
    113
  13. Rock

    Rock Kowulz.com

    1,345
    307
    0
    That one says, "1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or golf
    ."

    not, "1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as knives and boobs.", but I definitely see your point!

    My bad!
     
    El Gringo likes this.

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