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Finally, News You Can Use!

crogers Jan 13, 2019

  1. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Now, with Valentine's Day only 2-weeks away (HINT! HINT! Fellas!), I'm doing a bit of shopping. I found this nice bouquet...









    of beef jerky!

    JerkyBouquet.jpg

    UNTIL, I saw the price tag... $49 for SIX pieces! That pic shows a dozen... that's $98 worth of jerky! I can buy a whole cow for that! Oh, well... I guess I'll look elsewhere.

    DonutBouquet.jpg

    Howz about a 10 mini doughnut bouquet for $50? Only 5 bucks a doughnut. Krispy Kreme will sell me a whole dozen glazed for about $9. That'll leave me some cash for ammo! Then, take her out shooting. Or, I can get some "conversation heart doughnuts" for $1.69 each, with jelly filling, no less! That's sentimental!

    HeartDoughnut.png

    Valentine's Day is a rip-off! I'll go out and pick up some 1/2 price candy on the 15th!!

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/bee...day-gift-didnt-know-wanted-now-155731912.html
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
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  2. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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  3. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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  4. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Universal Orlando has a NEW attraction. A naked troll...







    that farts glitter! :bobert:

    This seems to be a job for @Pumpkin! She hasn't been around in a while... probably sniffing too much glitter! :lulz:

    Check out this video...



    He comes out to greet the guest 6 times a day.... Between appearances, I suppose he eats beans! :bwah:

    https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/universal-orlando-now-butt-naked-095153844.html

    Here it is...

    GlitterFarter.jpeg

    Along with the poor clean up crew....

    CleanUp.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
    Jim L. likes this.
  5. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Better than glitter farts, you ask? Why, certainly!

    Hows about a French farmer that dug up a WWI German grenade with his potatoes. Shipped that sucker to Hong Kong where it was discovered in a "crisp factory" (Fer you 'Murican speakers, that's "potato chip factory" :bwah:).

    Fortunately, at least for the workers, it was discovered before it went into the slicing machine and/or fryer. That's a shame... it would have made for a REAL interesting article! [​IMG]

    https://news.yahoo.com/bomb-terre-unexploded-first-world-184906686.html
     
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  6. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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  7. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Mom gets arrested when her 9-year old son takes some weed-laced Gummies to school and hands them out to his "light-weight" friends. Most of them complained of tummy aches, but none tested positive for THC but the one that was passing da shit out.

    What be confusing me... his AUNT gave him the gummies, then his mom took 'em away. Then he sneaked and used his little brother to snatch 'em back. At least, that's the way I'm reading this....

    Why is mom getting busted?

    Maybe I ain't reading this right. Maybe I need a few of them gummies to tighten up my noodle....

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/mot...sick-weed-gummies-doled-school-212852120.html

    Maybe they should bake up some brownies.... :drugslikeme:
     
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  8. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    I thought vaping was safer than smoking. Turns out, it's just a deadly PLUS it kills ya quicker!

    Dude in Texas had his e-cig blow up in his face. It blew a piece into his neck and he died from a stroke.

    https://news.yahoo.com/texas-man-suffers-stroke-dies-212713884.html

    The story also mentions a guy in Florida that had one blow up and propelled a piece into his head.
     
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  9. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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  10. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Howz about a catsicle? Poor kitty went out in the cold and was found in a snow bank, fur matted with ice, and with a body temperature so low it wouldn't register on the thermometer.

    Vet warmed kitty up and he's fine!

    As the article says, "One down, eight to go." Hope they didn't miscount along the way....:bwah:

    https://www.yahoo.com/gma/animal-cl...k-montana-075703288--abc-news-topstories.html


    Wonder if they come in cherry flavor? :hungry:

    Katsicle.jpg
     
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  11. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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  12. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Oh, but you gotta hurry. The deadline is Sunday, the 10th.

    Lookit the lookie loos!

    Lookie.jpg

    They certainly do look hungry! :hungry:
     
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  13. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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  14. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    They USED to be. But, you know we all get older.... :shakie:
     
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  15. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    Lmao..
     
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  16. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Instead of feeding roaches to meerkats, howz about doing yourself a deal?

    It seems that Hooters® has a deal; when you bring in a pic of one of your exes, and rip it up, they'll give you 10 boneless wings, IF you buy 10 boneless wings.

    If they're no bigger than the last ones I bought, I can eat all 20! :hungry:

    https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/want-rip-ex-photo-valentine-171144320.html

    Oh, look... here's a pic of one of my exes now! Doing to my heart what she did back then! :heartbreaker:

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    And, up from Australia (NOT Austria!), is an opportunity to name a snake after one of your exes! Entries cost a buck (I suppose AUD, so about $0.71 USD on today's rate). If you win, you get a free year-long pass to the zoo and the honor of having an Eastern Brown Snake named after someone you know!

    Proceeds benefit the Wildlife Conservation Fund so it's for a good cause.

    https://mashable.com/article/zoo-snake-name-ex/?yptr=yahoo#n5Mput10HPq1

    Oh, look; here's another of my exes!

    AnotherEx.jpg
     
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  18. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Finally, (I think!) another Valentine's special... Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the "Love Sausage®" :bobert:

    6, or so, inches of delicious meat! Reviewers have raved...

    "This is all kinds of wrong!"... "I offered a bite to a co-worker. Now, I have an appointment in HR at 2." ....

    Get yours TODAY!

    https://au.news.yahoo.com/stores-un...meal-leaves-internet-hysterics-053209665.html

    LoveSausage.jpg

    I suppose it takes two....
     
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  19. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Have any thoughts about where you'll take your sweetie for the Valentine's meal? Hmmmm?

    I have a suggestion....





















    Waffle House! The connoisseurs of fine cuisine have opened their reservation books for an evening of fine dining. Complete with free coffee refills and all the syrup you care to indulge in!

    Might be interesting to get some "to go". :madaddy:

    That is assuming that your sweetie will even talk to you after your dinner! :bwah:

    https://news.yahoo.com/waffle-house...vbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMyBHZ0aWQDQjQwMzdfMQRzZWMDc3I-

    Besides, it'll beat McDonald's! By a little bit....
     
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  20. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    Waffle House too high falooting for ya? Not in the mood to slip someone the sausage for Valentine's Day?

    Howz about a Sweetheart Steak? A specially trimmed rib-eye just dying to be grilled up for your significant other (unless they happen to be vegetarian!)

    https://news.yahoo.com/morrison-apos-takes-m-love-152600605.html

    Priced at £20 per kilogram ($11.70 per pound as of today's exchange), it might be a pretty good deal.

    Tasty loving! :hungry:

    SweetheartSteak.png

    Although, I'm not certain if the rosemary Cupid's arrow is included at that price point. :lulz:
     
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