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BEER or VAGINA

The Nicker Mar 28, 2005

  1. The Nicker

    The Nicker nick nack pattywhack

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    And now, a comparison to the two most important things to Man:

    1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.

    ...One point to BEER

    2. Warm beer tastes awful.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    3. A really cold beer is satisfying.

    ...One point to BEER

    4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc.

    If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you.

    There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view

    and personal circumstances.

    ...I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

    6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home.

    Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer.

    If you eat any pussy in public, you become a legend.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested.

    If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    9. You normally don't find old beer.

    ...One point to BEER

    10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.

    ...One point to VAGINA

    13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off

    ...One point to BEER

    14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.

    ...One point to BEER

    15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down.

    ...One point to BEER

    16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc.

    ...One point to BEER

    17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.

    ...One point to BEER

    18. Beer doesn't have a mother

    ...One point to BEER

    19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it

    ...One point to BEER

    FINAL SCORE:
    BEER: 10

    VAGINA: 8

    That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is:

    BEER
     
  2. Stabber

    Stabber Stabber's Steel Connection Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Three Cheers for BEER
     
  3. Guillermo

    Guillermo 7th Man of the 7th son Super Moderator

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    I'll take both, pussy with beer. You can enjoy both at the same time. I like a cold beer while I get head. I love to hear "relax baby, lay back and I'll get you a beer."
    Draw
     
  4. Stabber

    Stabber Stabber's Steel Connection Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    BEER or VAGINA

    The verdict is in folks!!!

    1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
    One point to BEER

    2.Warm beer tastes awful.
    One point to VAGINA

    3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
    One point to BEER

    4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
    between your teeth, you may vomit.
    One point to VAGINA

    5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a
    scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife
    may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point
    to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal
    circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

    6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in
    one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
    One point to VAGINA

    7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
    suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
    One point to VAGINA

    8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
    you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
    One point to VAGINA

    9. You normally don't find old beer.
    One point to BEER

    10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
    vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
    One point to VAGINA

    11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
    fun. One point to VAGINA

    12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
    One point to VAGINA

    13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER

    14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle
    or a can. One point to BEER

    15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
    settles down. One point to BEER

    16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
    pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER

    17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
    One point to BEER

    18. Beer doesn't have a mother
    One point to BEER

    19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
    drink it One point to BEER
    FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8

    That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

    PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
    discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
     
    Towelie likes this.
  5. Umberto

    Umberto cool mother fucker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    :bwah: :bwah:

    I thought this was gonna be about choosing a new baby name.
     
    tubtar likes this.
  6. tmik

    tmik Midwest Knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Sometimes there is only stout when you prefer light. One point beer.
     
  7. Lemmy

    Lemmy hook in mouth

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    I'll take a beer, thank you! Beer never divorces you and demands HALF! :dammit:
     
  8. tmik

    tmik Midwest Knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    3 points!
     
  9. Umberto

    Umberto cool mother fucker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Yes and beer does not withhold resentments while silently punishing you for years, undermining your state of mind, while absorbing your funds at a frightening pace.
    Yes my friends, beer will not disappear for days and then break up with you by email from Las Vegas.

    1 point for beer.
     
    ded i likes this.
  10. Slick

    Slick Level: True Devil

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    ..But having BOTH is best of all! :jdsmokin:
     
  11. mp5man1

    mp5man1 Tactical Performance Gear Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Sometimes all you get is a beer. Bummer
     
  12. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

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    Okay! But, on a cold and lonely night - if you could have either, which would YOU choose .... :D:

    Magical appearance of vagina makes one forget about all about beer ...

    at least for a few minutes :andy:
     
  13. MadDaddy

    MadDaddy Pat in the box

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    I dunno...I love good beer and all :cheers: ....but I think I could live the rest of my life without it....a good vagina though....could not live too long without that :( . Vagina rocks :wolfgang: :thumbsup:

    Going with my animal instincts, My vote is for vagina :fenlore: .......plus you always have liqour to fall back on :lemmy: .
     
  14. Fenlore

    Fenlore I am Spartacus! Brigade Member

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    Yay beer, I love beer, I am indeed a minister of beer and preach it's good word as much as possible:thefinger .... I'm so damn lonely.:cry:
     
  15. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

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    why choose? a good vagina will let you enjoy both! :jdwink2:
     
    muzz likes this.
  16. rudechuck

    rudechuck Worst Blood Brigade Member

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    I like pouring beer in Ron's vagina.
     
  17. Fiddleback

    Fiddleback Fiddleback Knives Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Often you can use beer to get at some vagina while its not very practical to use vagina to get some beer.

    Looks like a landslide really.
     
  18. Chisel

    Chisel off the hook

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    If I had to choose, I'd choose beer.

    That shouldn't really suprise any of ya'll

    Here's why:

    1) If vagina ain't available I can always beat off. If beer ain't available then I'm SOL. Liquor or wine really ain't an option for me.

    2) I might be alone in this but vagina has gotten me into more trouble than beer every has.
     
  19. 24thMED

    24thMED Down For Life

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    My ex-wife made me choose. I chose wisely.....
     
  20. Fenlore

    Fenlore I am Spartacus! Brigade Member

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    The girl I end up marrying in some far off date to who knows who will have to understand that I love beer, I will drink beer and I may, on occasion come home drunk by accident.

    My brother married such a women, who actually lets him go out drinking with his friends and get as sloshed as he wants... the only rule is he cannot come home 'til he's sober...
     

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