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~Bar etiquette 101

beergoddess Apr 9, 2007

  1. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

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    ...ok... so the recent 20% thread has got me thinking about what begets a good restaurant experience. There are also responsibilities that lie with the customer. This is in no way directed at anyone here, as you have never been customers of mine. Just a lil know-how to make sure you are YOUR bartender's top priority when at your local watering holes.




    The Bartender Manifesto....

    I can see you. Do not wave your dollars in the air, yell, say "hey you", snap your fingers, or tap your bottle/glass on the bar. I will make eye contact with you so you will know you will be served as soon as I can. Do not whistle. I am not your Pomeranian. It's not insulin that I'm giving out. If you need that drink THAT bad..you have bigger fish to fry, Jack.

    Do not yell an order to me as I am walking by. Chances are I have a head full of drink orders from the person I am actually waiting on!

    Do not ask me to make it strong/heavy/big. If you want a double, order a double. I pour a fair drink.

    Asking "Is this one on the house?" is the best way to make sure you NEVER get a free drink from me. First off... buybacks are technically illegal. I will buy you back one when I deem it time. If you get one, great! But you are NEVER entitled.

    When you order your drink. I will prepare it quickly. Extend the same courtesy to me and have your money ready. There are other patrons waiting for me, too.

    Do not call me over then ask your party what they want. Have your order ready when I approach you.

    Do not pull the redirect, the 'ol bait and switch....usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentlemen passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that, okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just cost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.


    If you want a refill, put your empty one the edge of the bar. If you are done, but still sitting, put a napkin/coaster on it. I am not a mind reader. And, be warned.....laying your bottle on it's side is the international symbol for "I'd like this bar bottle shoved up my ass."

    Do not order 2 mind erasers, one beer, 3 shots of tequila, a vodka tonic, and a frozen mudslide then ask "how much?" I am not a mathmetician. Put up a $20 or two. I promise... you'll get your change!

    Speaking of change...if you order your drink and intend to give the rest of the money as a tip, tell us. Do not make us walk back to you if we are busy.

    If you order a new and funky shot or drink, know whats in it. I may not. Different places/bars/regions have alot of different names for the same thing. Don't try to act all cultured and hip! Same goes for the micro-brew afficiandos...Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "regular beer" and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about in Maxim. "Do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome-Fest?" "Does Anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go away.

    I asked for your ID? If you are old enough, be flattered. If you are 22 years old, do not roll your eyes or huff and puff. I will not put my ass on the line for you!

    Don't try to rearrange the menu. If you are that particular, eat at home, or go somewhere where what you desire is on the menu.

    Don't ask "whats' cheap tonight?" iT'S OBVIOUSLY you!!

    If your food comes out over/undercooked, do not take it out on me. It is the fault of the kitchen. I will rectify the situation and fix it for you in a timely manner. Simply smile and say "Excuse me, but this was to be medium-rare."

    If I wait on you in an efficient and courteous manner, tip me. If you are a repeat "no-tipper", you will soon become invisable. Do not think because you shoved your change back into your pocket while I was busy, that I didn't notice.

    A compliment is fine. Do not sexually harrass us. I will have the bouncer escort you to the door if you are rude or condescending.

    No, you cannot have the remote control. You are not at home. If you want a channel on, ask.

    If i need to cut you off, take it like a man. If you argue how sober you are, you are only cementing your ametuer status. Have a soda and enjoy the ambiance, or leave. You have no idea the liabilities bars and bartenders face.

    But the most important thing.......
    Say please AND thank you!!

    "It's been a pleasure serving you!"
     
    mack1 and dfarmerknives like this.
  2. Umberto

    Umberto cool mother fucker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    does this always work?
     
    ppc6mm likes this.
  3. maui4lowry

    maui4lowry Zombie Eradicator Extraordinaire

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    I think she would be more then willing to show you:deadevil:
     
  4. stephanfowler

    stephanfowler knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    well said BG

    I was a barkeep for a while and had some ahhh "personality conflicts" with a few ppl, it can be seriously trying on your patience

    ~SF
     
  5. silenthunterstudios

    silenthunterstudios The Jello Gigolo

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    Well, cause I have Rosacea, I can only drink so much. So, after the bartender becomes wise that I am not drinking any more, and sees my Rosacea kick in, and keep on ordering water and diet soda, I get em for free. I usually don't go anywhere just to drink, I order a meal too, so if I am sticking around for a band, the game, whatever, I usually get the free soda/water. It is a gift, and I don't expect it. I also always tip the bartender/barmaid etc well, and usually end up paying for the free non alky drinks anyway.
     
  6. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

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    good man. just so ya know... i always give free soda if anyone wants to switch over.
     
  7. silenthunterstudios

    silenthunterstudios The Jello Gigolo

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    I am coming up to New Jersey :jdwink2: :devilzide


    (After about two drinks...)
     
  8. BigJim

    BigJim Justabuyer Fucktard

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    Bar customers Manifesto:

    1. Do not pretend that you wear those super tight shorts cuz you are so poor you can't afford a pair that fits. Ya know want me to get drunk and put my hand on your ass when you walk by. ADMIT IT.

    2. Tips for good service is couple of bucks for ya honey... Tips for good service and ample cleavage.... Badabing..$$$ Tips for good service, ample clevage and rubbing the girls on my arm or the back of my neck while you serve my drink and the wife or Mistress is NOT LOOKING.... BIG $$$$


    Hey BG just kidding........... My local watering hole where they know me I just come and start drinkin. The servers (little sweethearts) all know me and I get HUGGED when I come in. I spend almost as much on them as I do on me. One time I came and had left my wallet at home. When I went to settle up ( sat there eating and drinking with my buddies for hours and I bought several rounds for them) I discovered I had NO MONEY. It was like a 200 dollar tab and I was pathetic drunk. Christine the Bar tender came over and I told her the deal. She giggled and put both her hands on my cheeks leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, took the car keys out of my hand and called me a cab. ( which she paid for too)

    Anyway I came back a few days later with a pocket full of money and and got the exact same hugs. When I ordered they just started a tab like nothing had ever happened. I love that place. ( yeah I paid her back but it was a fight to get her to take the money)

    Moral of the story is treat em right and you will feel the love. Also find a bar where they are not so so damn busy that you can't interact with the staff like human beings. Why in Gods name would you go to a bar/food joint where you can not get to know and befriend the staff? Its about the people not the booze.

    BG you would prolly hate me. I would sit at your bar and stare at you all night with great big eyes and mumble about boobies, drink cheap domestic beer that was in the tap closest to my stool. But I would know your name by the time I left and I would remember it for next time. :deadevil:
     
  9. dfarmerknives

    dfarmerknives Tattoo Man says Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    Sounds like words to drink by. Treat people the way you want to be treated....
     
  10. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

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    nah... i wouldnt hate ya!! my twins get stared at all the time. just as long as you dont act rude or grab 'em...
    i have alot of regulars and happy hour guys. i can turn a $.50 curmudgeon into a $10 tipper. i am good at what i do! my bar has this older feller that we call "schmegs". no one wants to wait on him. he is a typical grumpy oldtimer that comes from old money, so the world owes him a living. he barks at everyone and is very demanding. i have finally broken him and have him saying please and thank you, and he even waits his turn. i killed him with kindness and will sweetly tell him if he is "hurting my feelings". he is a famous "coin tipper", but when i am getting done w/ my shift... he makes sure to call me over and hand me a 5. i chat him up about golf, ask him about his day, the grandkids, etc.. it seems like i was the only one to ever take the time w/ him. he is actually a decent guy. sometimes people are so used to being miserable, that it even suprise them if someone treats them kindly. i gave him a free beer once, he damn near fell off his barstool. thats why i am the "lion tamer" :bwah: or at least, thats what my colleagues called me!
     
  11. Rcbalt2

    Rcbalt2 Enormous member

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    Very good post. The bar I was at Saturday was way to crowded. I preffer the hole in the wall pub that you can just relax and drink and talk. Surprisingly the better I tipped the better the service got.
     
  12. Fenlore

    Fenlore I am Spartacus! Brigade Member

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    The only Thing I am guilty of there is the change part, sorry but some nights that's how I gauge how much I've drank as a stack the change in a pile over the night and it lets me know where I'm at, then I'm nice enough to ususally give it all to the bartender/tendress. When a pint is 3.50 and I pay with a 5 or a bill that gets me 1.50 change this can add up to quite a nice damn tip over the night.

    And I am always gracious to my server, and always say thank you.
     
  13. silenthunterstudios

    silenthunterstudios The Jello Gigolo

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    Whether I am by myself, or with a group, whenever it is my turn to pay for my booze, I always pay up front, regardless if food is on the bill. I will buy my drinks, order food, pay the food bill, and buy more drinks.
     
  14. Fenlore

    Fenlore I am Spartacus! Brigade Member

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    This is why I love running a tab, I take a limited ammount off cash and then I take an extra $20 just to make sure I always have enough for a decent tip.
     
  15. tmik

    tmik Midwest Knifemaker Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    great manifesto!

    i ran a bar for a couple of years and nailed it all...good tips for good bar staff is the order of the day....

    if i ever get to your joint i am going to sneak looks at the twins..a lot... i'll try not to be obvious...
     
  16. reconmarine

    reconmarine Berserker

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    Sanp your fingers!! Snapper!!

     
  17. MadDaddy

    MadDaddy Pat in the box

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    That about sums up my fellings on the subject :ssmile:

    I hate when I or the wife and I go out with our younger friends that like to go to the larger, louder bars that are so crowded and noisy that you can't even have a normal coversation with someone.....they always wonder why I don't bother being social at those loud ass places....because I can't fucking hear a word your saying :deadevil:

    And, I am sorry...but I HATE live music at a bar, well I can deal with some nice acoustic music in the background or something of the sort. I came here to relax and have a few drinks and conversation with friends....If I wanted to scream at them over bad cover songs I would go to a concert.
     
  18. leanne

    leanne collects metal Lady Devil

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    well said bg!
     
  19. beergoddess

    beergoddess shorter than endowed Lady Devil

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    yer gettin old!! :jdwink2: just teasin... i feel the same way. especially with the meat market shore bars my friends like. gimmie a hick bar ANYDAY!!
     
  20. MadDaddy

    MadDaddy Pat in the box

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    Yup, older and more tireder of all the bull shit :deadevil:
     

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