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A golden opportunity..........

tubtar Aug 27, 2016

  1. tubtar

    tubtar high caliber consecrator Moderator Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    O.K. , maybe golden brown.
    Bottom's up !
    While on the phone with Judy last week , ........... I think it evolved from discussing some social trend or other ( added after coffee ......it was the resurgence of the pet rock that she mentioned ) , but she said that she heard of a recent fad where kids had died from alcohol poisoning via absorption through their colo-rectal regions.
    Yes , taking a shot in the shit locker , as it were.
    Not being one to let an opportunity pass , I immediately began scheming.
    If any of you steal this idea and run with it , my legal department will be having words with you........but if you are as excited about the potential as I am , I would gladly consider partnering up and sharing the fame and wealth.
    O.K. , are you ready ?
    A theme bar that serves alcoholic beverages............how can I put this............up the hatch ?
    I have already devised the signature cocktail........a mixture of Kaopectate and grain alcohol , served in a low ball glass with two olives and a cocktail onion skewered on a toothpick , called the rock bottom.
    We will have to re-invent the bar stool , of course.
    I already have my best people on this.
    Flaming drinks are out of the question , and garnishes will need consideration.
    The current fad , where Bloody Mary's are delivered with slices of pizza , whole sausages and other accoutrements instead of the stalk of celery will make this task somewhat problematic.
    And anyone who isn't scared off by the whole " bloody " connotation , given where the drink is ultimately headed , is going to be a tough customer in more ways than one.
    Now.........for the name.
    I thought the logical choice would have to have the word " Inn " in it.
    Jam it , Shove it , Push it , etc. etc.
    Then I was struck by a minor inspiration.........just call the place " Innuendo ".
    That covers it.
    Here's how we play it........build it up , catch the lightening , and sell while it is still hot. No pun intended.
    Or bust the joint out and collect the insurance once the fad fades.
    I did briefly consider going with the British Pub feel and naming it " The Drunken Bum " or " the Thirsty Bum " .........something along those lines.
    I reserve those for the potential international franchising opportunities , but would not rule them out for a domestic use.
    We Yanks do love a good difference , as long as it isn't skin color or ideology.
    What say ye ?
     
    crogers and ded i like this.
  2. ratstuph

    ratstuph Hoodoo Operator Super Moderator

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    I'm praying for you...:bwah:
     
    crogers likes this.
  3. gzb

    gzb SUPER Moderator* Super Moderator

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    So we're talking a sort of *Rectal Asylum*...?

    Better budget for more bar glass Sanitizer from the get go J.

    Yikes... :facepalm:
     
  4. Mr.LaBella

    Mr.LaBella ←The № 1 Devil→ Administrator

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    Plastic is recyclable G Nizzle!:bwah:
     
  5. Brian_W204

    Brian_W204 Enormous member

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  6. Towelie

    Towelie The JD: Don't Forget To Bring A Towel Brigade Member

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    Possible establishment names:
    Up Shit Creek
    The Stinky Drinky
    Bottom's Up
    Krusty's
    Balloon Knot Inn
    Wrecked M's
    The Drippy Anus
     
  7. BennytheBlade

    BennytheBlade LUC4 JDBA Official Member Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    Butt Funneling?
     
  8. waterdogs

    waterdogs Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    Howz about some RC Cola, prune juice, and bourbon? ("The Royal Flush" ?)

    Or, instituting a new bar game, "Butthole Bukkake", where the recipient gets the funnel up his keister, while participants gather `round to throw a shot of their choice of booze into said funnel.... :devilwag:
     
  9. dymond47

    dymond47 Better than gold or platinum

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    seem,s like i have one brother in need of some cash,and my other brothers trying to help him out,butt, that subject matter is kinda rough to take. Rats, your post shows where your heart is even with the devil laugh, so i apolozie for my last post to you..d
     
  10. tubtar

    tubtar high caliber consecrator Moderator Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    All good candidates , but I am liking the Balloon Knot Inn ............almost as much as the Drippy Anus. :bwah::bwah::bwah::bwah:
     
    Towelie likes this.
  11. tubtar

    tubtar high caliber consecrator Moderator Super Moderator Brigade Member

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    A good read..........but the part about not putting Everclear up your ass was something of a redundancy.
    If you don't know that already , you deserve it. :thumbsup::bwah::bwah:
     
  12. littlejoey

    littlejoey High on a Mountain Top Brigade Member

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    How about:

    Ben Dover's English Pub.
    Eneman's welcome here.

    The Filling Station
    Regular or High-octane?

    Gotta offer coffee, too. I heard that's a popular option.

    :unintroduced:
     
  13. jjhamilton

    jjhamilton JDBA4L JDBA Official Member

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    So....you will be needing a good plumber for your new business...:ropeman:
     
    crogers likes this.
  14. Obijuan Kenobe

    Obijuan Kenobe Our only hope! Brigade Member

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    The Balloon Knot Inn made me laugh and spit.

    Fantastic...you win the internet today, Towlie.

    obi
     
    Towelie likes this.
  15. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    Pics or it didnt happen

    [​IMG]
     
  16. ded i

    ded i Friend of The Devil Lady Devil

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    So glad you posted this!

    Now when they say ' BYO turkey baster ' you'll know what is meant and won't ask why ...


    :yesman:

    :panic:


    Tell the boss we might need a new smilie.
     
    GEEZER likes this.
  17. falcon125

    falcon125 the express train to mayhem Brigade Member

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    smilie

    [​IMG]
     
    ded i likes this.
  18. Glenn

    Glenn Sol Invictus Knife Maker or Craftsman

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    [​IMG]

    :bwah:
     
  19. waterdogs

    waterdogs Brigade Member Brigade Member

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    And of course, you`ll need a house band for this gig....I hear "Bloody Stool" is available....:madaddy:
     
  20. Rhonda

    Rhonda knife diva Lady Devil Brigade Member

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    Blast off with a visit to Uranus. :devilzeek
     

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