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Getting older and wiser.

Kelper Mar 20, 2017 at 10:39 AM

  1. Kelper

    Kelper Penguin Egg Eater Lady Devil

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    As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,
    I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's arse anymore.
    .. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
    .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
    .. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
    .. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
    And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
    Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
    Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
    4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
    5. If my maker wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
    6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
    7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
    8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.
    9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
    12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
    13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
    14. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
    15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
    16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
    17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
    19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
    20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE............??????
     
  2. seandavid55

    seandavid55 JDBA4L JDBA Official Member Brigade Member

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    So many truths.
     
  3. TKC

    TKC Earthbound misfit Lady Devil

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    I resemeble so MANY of those remarks!!
     
  4. Clydetz

    Clydetz straight and true Brigade Member

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    A lot of wisdom there!!!
     
  5. crogers

    crogers Magnus advocatus diaboli Brigade Member

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    :fixed:
     
    begreen61, Kelper and seandavid55 like this.
  6. begreen61

    begreen61 Deadicated Brigade Member

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    That's a part of doing the human experience .Growing old is a good thing no matter how bad it gets,,so many die way too young .We are blessed .
     
    Kelper, crogers and HedaCoon like this.

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