Anyone else ever have these feelings?...

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 02:34 AM

I'll be feeling o.k. for awhile,then start feeling kinda...
I don't know,
manic I guess.
Shit that ain't really funny will have me laughing til tears are rolling down my face...
I can't go long without this huge fuckin' cloud descending on me for a few minutes...an hour...and I keep talkin' to Dave,tellin' him"why didn't you just fucking slow down?!?".
I ain't had much sleep the last few days,
and I'm feelin' goofier than usual.
I've lost a few friends over the years,
but nothing has impacted me like this.
I was in the shop this morning 'cause I got another order for 20 hooks,and they want it rushed:
I got 3 done,and just kinda bogged down...
I would have had Dave there with me to help out.
Fuck.
This shit will pass I reckon,but is it normal?
Anyone else feel like this?

**lachrymalex** · 03-12-2010, 02:52 AM

give it time.

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 02:57 AM

I am my friend,but this is weird;
half the time I feel almost stoned or something,
or like I'm still groggy from just waking up.
It's dammed surreal.

**Tinysd** · 03-12-2010, 02:58 AM

Every time you post.

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 03:09 AM

Originally Posted by Tinysd

Every time you post.

?...

**Clydetz** · 03-12-2010, 09:51 AM

I think I've experienced those feelings and it was for a 4-legged friend. Still tear up or laugh my ass off thinking about what we went through. Not sure if the feelings ever leave you but they do get less severe. This goes back over 2 years ago and I still get teary-eyed...

http://www.jerzeedevil.com/forums/sh...=walked+friend

**Tony8179** · 03-12-2010, 10:07 AM

I sometimes suffer from serious bouts of insomnia. After a few days when I've only had a few hours of sleep it seems almost like I have split personalities. I can be really happy and giddy one minute. I'm very talkative and friendly. Then I kind of fade out and get quiet. Next thing I know I'm really angry for no reason. The restlessness I feel is insane. I feel like I have to get up and move around or do something. I can't just relax when I'm like this. I feel like I'm in a haze some of the time. Almost as if I'm hallucinating at other times. All of this only happens when the insomnia hits. The insomnia only hits when I'm laid off from work. It's a strange thing.

If you're not sleeping all that well maybe you're going through what I experience with the insomnia. It definitely sucks. I feel for you brother.

**Kinnear Knife** · 03-12-2010, 10:44 AM

Stress over life events makes you feel that way... you seem to have had your share of "events" in the recent past, brother... hang in there, talk to your croaker, get down to a meeting... it will pass.

Hang in there.

**SugarSkull** · 03-12-2010, 01:12 PM

You miss beer. Go get a case or a bag.

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Kinnear Knife

Stress over life events makes you feel that way... you seem to have had your share of "events" in the recent past, brother... hang in there, talk to your croaker, get down to a meeting... it will pass.

Hang in there.

I think what's got me off kilter is that I had advance warning with all the other things that have come down the turnpike over the last couple years.I could see them coming and brace myself,to some extent.
Dave's passing came outta the sun...
And,because I can feel his presence so close,it's like he ain't really gone.
Michelle (his wife) is feeling the same way,only more so.
I think that after we say the formal Goodbye,things will settle.
Thanks all.

**gpd215** · 03-12-2010, 02:24 PM

I say this with all due respect....you need to seek some professional help. Go see a Counselor or something.

**redneckloser** · 03-12-2010, 02:37 PM

"Anyone else ever have these feelings"

-Yes.-

(Do I have depression? I DO NOT believe in "PTSD". Cheap excuse,and I will never claim it,or accept a diagnosis of it. Please PM me if anyone has a idea-I dont want to derail the OP's thread/intent.)

I feel for you my Friend-it is not easy to deal with,I know

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by redneckloser

"Anyone else ever have these feelings"

-Yes.-

(Do I have depression? I DO NOT believe in "PTSD". Cheap excuse,and I will never claim it,or accept a diagnosis of it. Please PM me if anyone has a idea-I dont want to derail the OP's thread/intent.)

I feel for you my Friend-it is not easy to deal with,I know

hey Redneckwinner:no worries mate.
Anyone want to respond in any way,feel free!!
Don't worry 'bout derailing this topic:
I posted this not so much as a question,but more so anyone else feeling similar things can bring it out if you choose to.
If there's something dark and heavy churning you up inside,regardless of the cause,bring it here,and dump it,if you wish.
This is better than a professional:between all of us,I figure if you're looking for an answer,what better place to find it than with friends?

**SugarSkull** · 03-12-2010, 05:00 PM

Sounds like free floating anxiety. Something needs to be expressed.

**Ironwolf** · 03-12-2010, 05:13 PM

yeah,a big part of it is that I'm really pissed off with him for putting his love of speed ahead of his love for his family...
every rider carries in the back of their mind the knowledge that the faster you ride,the likelihood of something goin' sideways increases proportionally.
Dave chose the wrong place and time to open 'er up.
And,I'm angry with him for it.
His youngest son isn't even 2 months old...
My anger will pass,for the most part.