My wife became instant best friends with the pregnant girl across the way. Today her other friend gave the prego a shitload of hand-me-down stuff: a bassinet, clothes, a swing, etc.
I was lucky enough to unload the car full of stuff into my already crowded living room and then, once they surprised her with the gifts, I got to lug the stuff over to her place. It took five trips. Her husband showed up for the last trip.
Then her husband took off to "hang out with a buddy."
Sure as shit, we get a call that she is starting to have contractions. Husband basically says, "call me when you get to the hospital." Being the good hubby that I am, at my wife's nagging... er, I mean request... I round up my 3 1/2 year old, her 2 1/2 year old, her and my wife, cram them in the car, and take off.
Of course, they don't go to the closest hospital, they go to the one three towns north. I drop the girls off at the entrance and park the car. I figure that if I make the kids hold hands, I can keep them together. I'm having to wrangle my hyper kid and her... slow.... kid through the busy parking lot and through the "fun" revolving door that they just had to twirl around in.
Then we go up to the 2nd floor. I've never been here before, so I have no clue where I'm going. Corky keeps wandering off, staring into space, mine is wanting to push every button and play with EVERYTHING, and I'm trying to keep them from getting run over by the nurses pushing the beds down the hall. I finally figure out where Labor and Delivery is. Then the nurse asks me who I'm here to see. I try to explain that my wife brought her friend in a second ago and I'm trying to find them. She goes to the computer and asks the name of the patient and I realize, I DON'T KNOW HER LAST NAME!!
I try to describe them, but somehow, "cute brunette with a pregnant lady," isn't a detailed enough description for her. Luckily my wife heard me (she claims I was raising my voice) from her friend's room and came to get me. The nurse tells me I have to go to the waiting area which is ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING!! So here I go again, trying to lead two toddlers down the hall to the waiting area.
When we get there, my son sees an older lady with a back brace and cane and just HAS to sprawl on the ground in front of her to see how the feet of the cane grip the wood floor. I unload all 3 of our backpacks on a seat and try to corral the kids in a corner of the room, with no luck.
Hubby calls and says he is getting ready to leave his "buddy's" house. By now my kid has bumped his head, so he's crying, and the other kid is crying because, well, I don't know why.
Then guess who calls? My Sergeant wanting to talk about my schedule. My boy finds the coffee dispenser and wants to play with the hot water tap, and the other kid just dumped his backpack full of toys at the cane lady's feet. I tried explaining that now isn't a good time, but Sarge doesn't get it, so I just hang up on him and ignore his next three calls.
Half an hour later, prego's hubby shows up. We grab our kid and go. I tell my wife she is no longer allowed to have pregnant friends.
I see an Academy store I've never been in before, and like a dumbass, I decide to go in to check out the clearance items. My kid has a meltdown because I won't buy him the 8" saltwater fishing pole, and my wife suddenly wants to look at coats. We left with everyone in the store staring at the screaming kid in my arms.
On the way home, my wife tells me the husband's friend's house was less than five minutes away from the hospital. Something's up with that.
When we finally get home, my boy decides to turn all sweet and wants to cuddle before going to bed. He's a good kid, but he gets hyper and cranky at night, especially if we go out.
All is quiet again, thankfully.
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Originally Posted by Cadi Con Carne
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