You Might Be A Racer If...
- You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
- You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the
wear bars are showing.
- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just
- You change engine oil every other week.
- You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the
throttle right after turning in.
- You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a
- You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
- You bought a race car before buying a house.
- You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed
trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere
-or- hookups for the motorhome.
- You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and
practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
- More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name
when you call.
- You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your
- You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s and Pauter rods and
your 'significant other' knows what they are.
- You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
- Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing
supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll
Smith has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have
- People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
- You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
- Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every
other week or so.
- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the
line, causing your exit speed to drop.
- A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or
organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
- You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the best hardware
- You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
- You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
- You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
- Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
- You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger
gives you a real funny look.
- You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the
- You can't stand understeer.
- You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle
- You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
- You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
- You save broken car parts as " momentos".
- Your last several freeway forays included just brushing the curbs as you
apexed the on-ramps perfectly....
- You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't
particularly care for alcohol).
- The local tire shop won't honor the tread life warranty on any car you have
been within 50 yards of...
- The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to
- You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do bathing.
- Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
- You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a
- You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the
ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Auto Math Handbook"
- When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".
- You have racing shops programmed on on your speed dialer.
- You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
- You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on
wearing your full face helmet while driving.
- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your
alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
- You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
- You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too
long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
- You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
- You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the