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Thread: Things you'll never hear a redneck say

  1. #1

    Things you'll never hear a redneck say

    As a redneck, I came across this and laughed out loud because so many really do apply to my family

    Subject: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:
    We don't keep firearms in this house.
    Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
    You can't feed that to the dog.
    I thought Graceland was tacky.
    No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
    Wrasslin's fake.
    We're vegetarians.
    I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
    Who's Richard Petty?
    Spitting is such a nasty habit.
    Trim the fat off that steak.
    Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
    The tires on that truck are too big.
    I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
    Unsweetened tea tastes better.
    Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
    I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
    Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
    Checkmate.
    She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
    Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
    Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
    Elvis who?

  2. #2
    Sebbiephile SuperD's Avatar
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    HAHAHA.....all true!








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  3. #3
    Checkmate! :-D

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Drivetech
    Checkmate! :-D

    Ahahahahahaha!!! that's great!

  5. #5
    6th degree black belt/internet fighting discipline bart-1's Avatar
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    Way true!! GOOD reading! :-D
    putting the FU in funny !

    And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.


  6. #6
    7th Man of the 7th son Guillermo's Avatar
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    Too funny, uh I forgot for a moment that am a redneck. Takin the tires off my new Jeep Unlimited to put on my truck. Then I can put some damn biguns on the Jeep.

  7. #7
    I like for the fat to be trimmed off my steak and I hate Elvis


    other than that, it's good to go


    When you can't run anymore, you crawl

    if you can't crawl, you find somebody to carry you.

  8. #8
    m1 Michelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Brock View Post
    I like for the fat to be trimmed off my steak and I hate Elvis


    other than that, it's good to go
    I like the fat to be trimmed off my Elvis and I hate......


    .... oh wait.....




    m1

  9. #9
    Entrusted Devil RNST's Avatar
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    very funny post. I moved it over to Repost Friggin Central.

    Green sent.



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  10. #10
    Earthbound misfit TKC's Avatar
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    Talking

    That was funny. Thanks for the chuckle.
    "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

  11. #11
    GREAT POST, VERY FUNNY

  12. #12
    ←The № 1 Devil→ Mr.LaBella's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by RNST View Post
    very funny post. I moved it over to Repost Friggin Central.

    Green sent.



    Good work,RNST we didnt have Repost way back then



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  13. #13
    my posse's on Broadway Boogerball's Avatar
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    You can't feed that to the dog.



  14. #14
    Funny !
    “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

  15. #15
    Lone Star Moderator WT351's Avatar
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