As a redneck, I came across this and laughed out loud because so many really do apply to my family
Subject: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Who's Richard Petty?
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.