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Thread: breaking news.....how it would be written today....

  1. #1
    ←The № 1 Devil→ Mr.LaBella's Avatar
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    Exclamation breaking news.....how it would be written today....

    How the WWII 'D-Day Invasion' would be reported by today's press...

    NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated, and that reaction against the American invasion was running high. "We are dying for no reason, "said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "Americans can't even shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."

    The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, thus threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Green Peace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but not surprised. "This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about corporate greed."

    Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."

    Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon -- a so-called "atomic bomb". Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before, and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began, reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by American soldiers. Mistreatment of Jewish people by Germans at their so-called "concentration camps" has been rumored, but so far this remains unproven.

    Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion, and French officials are concerned that the uncollected corpses will pose a public-health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in advance," they said. "It's their mess, and we don't intend to help clean it up."

    This is a sample, of how today's press would record yesterdays HEROIC news. Do not fight/vote by political party, vote by issue and candidate. If approx. 70% of people actually voted we would be rid of our current worldwide trend of "good ol boys" across the board, no matter which side you are for. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.



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  2. #2
    Tattoo Man says dfarmerknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.LaBella View Post
    Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
    Puff, Puff, pass....
    I think you may have hit on something.....
    Wicked men! Cease your antics or I may be forced to assault you with the US Postal System!

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  3. #3
    Set your motherfucker to "receive" Dr Mabuse's Avatar
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    accurate...

    imagine Bastogne in today's press...

    or africa... those officers in africa would be up on charges probably...


  4. #4
    Don't we have a repost section?
    I'm going to guess that all of your failures prior to the "revolution" will pale in comparison to how hard your life will be afterward. You will not rise to the occasion. If you can't succeed in a structured, ordered society, you will continue to fail miserably when winning friends and influencing people becomes vitally important.

  5. #5
    ←The № 1 Devil→ Mr.LaBella's Avatar
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    Why yes, Tiny we do. I am trying to get a reaction here friend.



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    If looks could kill, then "Death" would be my name....



    Temet Nosce

    Quote Originally Posted by ratstuph
    We only destroy dreams here, not "restore" them.
    welcome to da JD,
    rats...
    ⱤᵒᵑȽ•••••••

  6. #6
    Wow, that's pretty interesting and depressing all at the same time....those media bastards.
    Check Out The JD Pass Around Forum


    Cpt. M.F.Welch 1945-1995...RIP Dad.

  7. #7
    Resident Bastid mack1's Avatar
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    Ain't that the "Truth"??? Love the "Spinless French Crab" line, so appripo! :spin: Not intended to offend any French Devilz. The ones I'm talkin' about know who they are.


    10. Ten 2 go!:spin:
    Last edited by mack1; 03-23-2007 at 10:31 AM.
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