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Thread: My crotch burns.

  1. #1

    My crotch burns.

    I let a Mexican man touch my crotch and now it's burning.

    Actually, the Mexican in question was a doctor. Lanced, cut and stuffed a cyst-turned-abscess in my groin. Dude, this sssuuuucks.

    I've had the cyst for a couple of years. Occasionally I'd apply a warm compress to it in the hopes it'd go away; but never got too big or painful so didn't give it much thought.

    Then a couple weeks ago I ran a half-marathon and a day later it's like I'm growing a third nut in a second sack right next to the original. I mean it got big quick.

    Went to see a dermatologist, and he and his female nurse studied it intently. "Oh yeah, that needs to come out. We'll schedule you for a 45 minute surgery. No big deal." So I go to the front desk to schedule the surgery, and they say come back in a month.

    WTF?! One hour of the doctor's time is worth 744 hours of pain and suffering for me!? Bullshit.

    So today I went and hit up the doc-in-a-box and he took care of it via the lance/drain/stuff method. I swear I've got 10 ft of gauze jammed in there. Hang me from a tree and hit me w/ a broom b/c dude stuffed me like a damn piņata.

    Is this kind of stuff what happens when you start getting old? I figure some of you on here should know.

    I know a lot of you have been through worse medical experiences, hell, I have been myself, but its been quite a while for me. It was kind of a reminder/wakeup of how miserable life can be even when something relatively small affects your health.

    So, best wishes in GOOD HEALTH for all of you and yours out there in the JD. And if you are having issues, know I'm pulling for you to get through it. ...even if I won't be able to pull myself for a while.
    JDBA #31
    "Snakes. They're like bits of rope, only angrier." - Charlie Brooker

  2. #2
    Rampaging Sausage Winter's Avatar
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    Do you get to be the Man on the next date?

    I had a compass, but without a map, it's just a cool toy to show you where oceans and ice are.

  3. #3
    Momma said I'd go blind OnceBitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter View Post
    Do you get to be the Man on the next date?
    fucking LOL!
    RIP Jerry "DaBird" Lameka 1957-2012. Rest peacefully, buddy. We'll never forget you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tmbrcrafter View Post
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  4. #4
    high priestess of the small and foldy grace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velocityboy View Post
    It was kind of a reminder/wakeup of how miserable life can be even when something relatively small affects your health.
    It's disproportionate, isn't it?
    The worse thing is that the little thing make you feel terrible and no one will give you any sympathy - in fact they'll take great delight in telling you about what ever they had that was worse!

    ...and yes, getting older sucks. Being married to a doctor doesn't help when you're trying to delude yourself that you're not on the downhill slope, either!

    I hope you feel better soon.
    4B - Blade Show


    "...smarter than your average brainless slapper."

  5. #5
    Deadicated begreen61's Avatar
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    Man that sucks,,Hope everything turns out OK,Soulds Painful,,Heres to a Quick recovery my friend

    Respect
    Gary
    Nothing but Respect
    Gary

    My knife never needs to be reloaded,yet allways is loaded and has never missfired yet!

    A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Winter View Post
    Do you get to be the Man on the next date?

    Well I'm the one who gets the bill. So I get to be the man in that regard. We have another date scheduled for tomorrow- he's gonna stuff my hole again. Hopefully he'll be gentle.


    Thanks for the well wishes, devils.
    JDBA #31
    "Snakes. They're like bits of rope, only angrier." - Charlie Brooker

  7. #7
    totally hetero, no seriously tmbrcrafter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velocityboy View Post

    We have another date scheduled for tomorrow- he's gonna stuff my hole again. Hopefully he'll be gentle.
    Uh, you might want to keep that to yourself...

  8. #8
    Momma said I'd go blind OnceBitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velocityboy View Post
    We have another date scheduled for tomorrow- he's gonna stuff my hole again. Hopefully he'll be gentle.




    Hopes of a Speedy Recovery for you (even if you're making us laugh).
    RIP Jerry "DaBird" Lameka 1957-2012. Rest peacefully, buddy. We'll never forget you.
    .................................................. .................................................. ..............................................

    READ THE RULES
    . We don't ask for much. Respect the Forum and its Members. Okay.....not all of them

    Quote Originally Posted by tmbrcrafter View Post
    If the scarecrow drove to the beach, cookies would taste like a Q tip and the nuns had a cold from duck feather

  9. #9
    Drivin' that train..... TopHat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velocityboy View Post

    Well I'm the one who gets the bill. So I get to be the man in that regard. We have another date scheduled for tomorrow- he's gonna stuff my hole again. Hopefully he'll be gentle.

    Kyle the Paramedic will stuff it for free......
    Is there anything a man don't stand to lose,
    When the devil wants to take it all away?
    Cherish well your thoughts, and keep a tight grip on your booze
    Cause thinkin' and drinkin' are all I have today.


    Quote Originally Posted by nosaj03 View Post
    Perhaps it would be in my best interest to better understand the rules to prevent this type of stuff from happening again.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
    Kyle the Paramedic will stuff it for free......
    Of course I'd be a bit concerned with what he'll stuff, and what he'll stuff it with.

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