magnum
02-15-2006, 08:46 PM
Enjoy!!:lafflol:
Baby skunk
A man and his wife were driving home one very
cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the
side of the road. She got out to see if it was still alive.
It was and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to
death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says, "OK. Get in the car with it."
Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm
there" "But what about the smell?" she asked.
Just hold it's nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene. http://jackniveslxhost.6.forumer.com/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle
lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican
is stunned. The Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish,
anything you want."
The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally
the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee
tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's
clear...looks like tequila. Then smells the liquid...smells like tequila. So
he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come
quickly!" She comes
running down the hall, and the Mexican takes another
glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is
tequila! Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the
best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his
wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two
glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the couple
drinks until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home from work and tells
his wife, " Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink
Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the
table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife
asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"
Pancho raises the glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT, MI AMOR, YOU DRINK FROM
THE BOTTLE."
ARRIBA!!!!!!!
ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!
Baby skunk
A man and his wife were driving home one very
cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the
side of the road. She got out to see if it was still alive.
It was and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to
death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says, "OK. Get in the car with it."
Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm
there" "But what about the smell?" she asked.
Just hold it's nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene. http://jackniveslxhost.6.forumer.com/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle
lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican
is stunned. The Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish,
anything you want."
The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally
the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee
tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's
clear...looks like tequila. Then smells the liquid...smells like tequila. So
he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come
quickly!" She comes
running down the hall, and the Mexican takes another
glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is
tequila! Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the
best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his
wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two
glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the couple
drinks until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home from work and tells
his wife, " Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink
Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the
table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife
asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"
Pancho raises the glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT, MI AMOR, YOU DRINK FROM
THE BOTTLE."
ARRIBA!!!!!!!
ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!