I Want To Beat My Friends Senseless With An Aluminium Bat

[DJ DeMarco]

OK, so this is the forum where you can bitch and complain, so after an incident that occurred last night with my friends, I can do that safely here. Ok, here it goes: :ranton:

I'll try and keep this plain and simple. A while back while out with the guys I met this gorgeous older girl named Jeanette. I thought I hit the jack pot because she's a little older than me, and she has the most beautiful face and a pair of eyes to match. One thing though: She's not exactly skinny, but she isn't huge either. She's got a little extra junk in the trunk of you guys know what I mean. But it looks good on her, she's top/bottom proportionate, and like any normal man, I do appreciate a woman with curves. My friends however, who are more into the tall skinny supermodel types, didn't really think too highly of her. They more or less ridiculed me for "being a chubby chaser" and things like that. Now I didn't think too much of it because we'd all been drinking that night and guys say and do dumb shit when drunk. But as of late, particularly when I blow them off to spend time with her, every other sentence is "How's things with that fat girl ?" "So you like fat girls ?" "Give the guy a break, fat girls need love too" etc, etc. Needless to say, they're driving me NUTS !!!!! AAAAAHHHHH :teethgri: :teethgri: !!!!! I just want to take my brother's Louisville Slugger and use it to seprate their jaws from the rest of their bodies so they can just shut the fuck up already with their shit talking !!!!!

Now the final straw came last night, when I assumed we were going to TJs to watch some TV and knock back a few. Almost half way there, knowing I don't like going, they decided to go to some seedy ass titty bar instead (I hate those places, all the girls there are fake titted arrogant bitches with raging meth/crack habits) That immediately set me in an angry mood, and something you all need to know about me is when I'm seething with anger, you can usually tell, given the serious look on my face I was practically born with. It was so evident the entire time I was there that a bouncer actually asked me if something was wrong and addressed to one of my friends that I looked like I wanted to kill someone (yes, I look that scary when I'm mad) Not only did they know how pissed off I was for not wanting to be there in the first place, but they decided to kick it up a notch by telling any girl who talked to them not to talk to me because quote unquote " he doesn't like hot girls like you, he only likes fat girls" And they did it in such a manner as if I wasn't there while they were saying it (I was right next to them). When I got home I gave my punching bag one of the most savage beatings I've ever given it in a long ass time, (being as that I'm too nice to use my friends instead) Man my friends are really pissing me off. What would you fellas do if you were in my shoes ? :rantoff:

Well I guess that's all I have to say about that, I figure better to take it out on the computer with a keyboard than out on their face with my fists right ?

[LONE WOLF]

Nothing that a good ol' Easton wont fix.

[rudechuck]

I like the fat-bottomed girls too!!! Your friends like the skinny girls because most of those supermodel type chicks look like 13 year old boys and that's what they're into.

[Mr.LaBella]

I say ditch the "friends" :atyou:

[Raoul]

What would you fellas do if you were in my shoes ?


Well.....,first of all,I think I would tell my "friends" that I really don't like how they're treating me.
I mean....,a one time joke is okay I guess,but you've got to know when to stop.
Come to think of it.....,real friends do know when to stop, and also when not even to begin!

You two go ahead and enjoy the hell out of each other,and in the mean time i would go and look for new friends!!!

Raoul...

[Harley Rider]

Friends? I think you shoud take a better look at who your friends are. Have fun with your girl and stay away from those "Friends"!

Allen

[bart-1]

First thing, they are ahead 1,000,000 to 0! You are letting them get the best of you and you let it show. Second would you bag on your friends if in there shoes? If yes then take it in stride, if not then can you beat any of them up? If yes than kick the most influencial ones ass!

Heres the real kicker....is this the girl you are going to spend the rest of your life with? If yes than ditch the friends, if no, then just take a little ribbing and have a good time!

If I was one of your friends I would rib you also! Just ask my friends! :biggthum:

[Clydetz]

You say your friends prefer the skinny model-types but do any of your friends have one on their arm? I gotta go along with borinquen... they're probably somewhat jealous! If you both enjoy each others company, go for it but leave the bat at home. :-D Don't let your friends tell you who you should like & dislike!

[Fenlore]

First, you can get alot more use outta a wooden bat, it doesn't dent and if you got a good old one it's lighter than aluminum and you get a better hit outta it.

Secondly tell you friends if they don't like her they can go fuck each other if they wern't already doing it. Second your buddies are breaking the code, that in turn gives you every right to smack em' all around.

And lets not forget, as Queen put it "Fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round"
Did I type that right?

[cliff]

Your friends like the skinny girls because most of those supermodel type chicks look like 13 year old boys and that's what they're into. :penis: :lafflol:

[howiesatwork]

Your "friends" aren't your friends.
Friends are supportive, not subvertive.

[Mike Stewart]

Friend,

You have a communication Problem.

Have you looked them in the eye and said--That shit really bothers me.!

You say you look mean when your pissed.

Try looking at a couple of them--in the eye and telling them that the ball breaking is over.

Tell them that you like the girl and you have heard enough.

If they do it one more time--- It's simple--they don't respect you.

They are then--not your friends.

You give them the choice. No Fat jokes or they can continue down lifes road--without you as thier friend.

It's actually pretty simple.

[DJ DeMarco]

Secondly tell you friends if they don't like her they can go fuck each other if they wern't already doing it. Second your buddies are breaking the code, that in turn gives you every right to smack em' all around.


Exactly what code is that ? And contrary to what some of you alls claim, I doubt they have any bit of attraction about her, I guess they're just strange about that, they just don't appreciate women with curves the way I do. They go for the skinny ass Kate Moss type bitches (ironically, those are the ones who constantly bitch about how they always feel fat, the women I go for are proud of their figure and never complain) Well I wanted to thank you all for cheering me up that way, I honestly don't get my friends, see, they are like fixed on this false notion that I'm like the fucking forty year old virgin or something, they truly are convinced I'm worthless at picking up women, yet when I do, they pull this kind of shit. And Fenlore, don't worry, by the time everyone reads this, I'll have already set their dumbasses straight. It's fairly easy to get them to quit fucking around, just tell them they can't come in for free at the club I bounce at and they'll get in line real fucking quick :scheme: OK, well thanks everyone. You all really know how to make a guy smirk after a hard days work/crappy day at work.

[Fenlore]

guy code of course, at the end of it all it is the master code to which we should all abide to, you can exagerate a story by only 40% unless you're hitting on a hot chick then you can exagerate any story by 400%. If you buddy gets into a fight then you must help him... unless of course he's really asking for it or he pissed you off. You may only sack another guy if you are in serious life or ass peril... or if the guy is really askin for it. You can make fun of your budy for any choice he may make but you can't be a dick abotu it. Guy code, you know, the thing that keeps the world in one peice... there are of course many more rules.

[DarrylS]

:asskick: :asskick: Kick yer "buddies" in the a$$...I could never see what all these guys see in skinny, pole-like, anorexic looking women. I swear that in all my life I've NEVER seen it in me to waste my time with a skinny squeeze...All it ever told me was that they were more into themselves than they were into who ever they were out with. Ditch the "buddies"...go out fer pizza with yer lady...:gogdog:

[Peter Lezard]

I can only echo what has been said before me. Start with "Listen up you primitive screwheads!" Tell them to knock the shit off, or be kicked to the curb.:doublefu: Buds are a good thing, but getting laid is much more important.

P.S. I'd go drinking with anybody who is also a fan of Army of Darkness/Evil Dead, so if yer ever in Mordor look me up.:ciao:

[Stabber]

Fat girls are like Mopeds= fun to ride, just don't let your friends catch ya. Dude! If you like her, Screw what your friends think. Gash has ended many a friendship:dammit:

[Shade]

This aint about whether you like fat bitches or skinny bitches....
First off, I agree with Mike Stewart pretty much...
If these guys are good buds, you cant just hold your anger in and get pissed off about what they are saying.. let them know whats up, or they'll just think its fun and games, and you might be in a shitty mood.. I would knock on my friends if they hooked up with a fat or ugly girl (not saying yours is..), but if they told me to quit cuz it bothered htem, I would at least somewhat reduce the knocking hehe...
Good luck!

[Raoul Duke]

These guys must Know they are getting to you to much if you look like trouble when your pissed, and It seems they dont know where the line is.

You need to Clearly draw it out for them.

Its a tough one as, but like you i'd be tempted to Kick there arses.

This could land you in a world of shit though.

Tell them straight, and If they still take the piss, have a nice surprise for them and Knock the fuckers out.

You probably wont, but I feel your frustration.

Its probably best just to say fuck em.

If the girl is pretty, shes worth it mate. They are jealous, although they dont know that, as they are oviously to thick to know.

I've had Skinny as hell birds, and Huge Girls, they were all Hot.

Your "mates", on the other hand, are cunts and deserve to be, at least, verbally slapped about.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, There are also plenty of friends aswell.

[wes]

Still more ...

[Fenlore]

I know it's a fun game to bring up SE's old dumbass threads and laugh at em but common, it's getting old mang.

[Soup_Monger]

It's not for our benefit.

It's for his younger brother. :ronl:

[Sandy Morrissey]

You mentioned how much you disliked being in the bar where your friends (???) were teasing you. Then why were you there? You have feet? Why not use them to do your own thing? Sounds like you are incapable of making your own decisions and with a damn poor choice of friends. Be a leader, not a follower.

[tmbrcrafter]

Just remind your buddies while they're at home chokin' the Bishop, you'll be out having fun

[BigJim]

Bumpage LOL

[RoadFish]

Have to agree with a lot of the above. These guys are not your friends. You are the butt of their jokes while you are with them. What do you think they are saying about you when you are not with them? These shallow SOB's don't have any sense of what being a friend means, or they just don't have any respect for you. If you have any respect for yourself, or the girl, you will simply stop hanging with these infants.:firedevil

[Katwyld]

*bonks BigJim on the head with her aluminum bat*

[travistheone]

:2ful:

[Clydetz]

WOW! This was one of DJ's better threads. I guess we didn't know him too well back then.

[ratstuph]

Anybody got that gal's phone number?

[rio]

pull the dollar bills and stfu:cheesydevil::cheesydevil::cheesydevil::cheesy devil:


them call the girl later and tell her how much you miss her.

[Ken Brock]

somebody quoted "man law"



:decisions