Stabber
05-21-2009, 09:33 AM
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
Because they are plugged into a genius
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
They don't have enough time
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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
They don't stop to ask directions
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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock
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You're laughing, aren't you?!?!
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
Don't know.....it never happened
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C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!
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8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
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Remember, if you haven' t got a smile on your face andlaughter in your heart...Then you are just a n old sour fart!
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9.One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
=0 A
And they say blondes are dumb...
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10. ; A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you....'
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11. 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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12. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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13. Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
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14. Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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15. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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16.. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Because they are plugged into a genius
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
They don't have enough time
----------------------------------------------
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
They don't stop to ask directions
----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock
-----------------------------------------------
You're laughing, aren't you?!?!
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties
----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
Don't know.....it never happened
-----------------------------------------------
C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!
--------------------------------- --------------
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven' t got a smile on your face andlaughter in your heart...Then you are just a n old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
9.One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
=0 A
And they say blondes are dumb...
---------------------------------------------
10. ; A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you....'
---------------------------------------------
11. 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
12. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
----------------------------------------------
13. Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
----------------------------------------------
14. Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
15. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
---------------------------------------------
16.. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?