Funny Penis Fact

[Pumpkin]

Although there were a bunch more at this site I found, I liked this one the best :-D


Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

[Pumpkin]

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

Average length when erect: 5.1

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches

Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)

Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet

Most arousing time of day/season for a man: Early morning/fall

Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising,
lose weight

Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains,
wheat germ

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2
weeks

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

The human equivalent: 26 miles (a marathon distance)

Time it takes the sperm: 2.5 seconds

Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours

Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)

Shelf life of a Hostess Twinkie: 7 years

Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100

Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm

Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm

Thickness of plastic wrap: .0127 mm

# of times condoms are thicker that plastic wrap: Almost 6

In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet. Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste. Dairy products can create a foul taste; the taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest.

Acidic fruits and alcohol (except processed liquors) give it a pleasant and sugary taste. Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown, etc. (drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun)

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie.

Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower.

It is common for men to wake up with 'morning wood,' a name for an a.m.
erection.

Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode
if he doesn't have sex, is totally false.

[Mr.LaBella]

blue balls are real!

[Alchemist]

It's good that you're educating yourself, B is one lucky guy. Nothing like a girl who knows her semen facts!

[Matches]

Shelf life of a Hostess Twinkie: 7 years

How did that get in there? :decoder:

[TheMightyGoat]

How did that get in there? :decoder:

I think they just thought it was funny that a twinkie will outlive your sperm.

I would also like to interject that blue balls are real. Of course they're not going to make your balls explode, and there are a lot of other dumb myths around them, but they exist.

[L33731]

Well it's nice to know that I am normal for getting 20 boners a day. :trixie:

[TPyke]

Labatt Blue.
You guys get Blue down there?
What about Blue Dry? (6.1-8.1%)

[TPyke]

Actually, let me re-phrase that....

you guys get Blue in the states?

[Pumpkin]

LOL...

[TheBadGuy]

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000


This must be per year, as I have passed this one up LONG ago :-D

[swampwolf]

I cant confirm of deny "blue" balls, but something happens when you go without for a month. They get sore as hell, but they dont turn blue.

[tailgunner]

Geez, who the fuck was that poor bastard with a 5/8 inch pecker? Shit that's not wood, it's a splinter. Maybe it's Rosie O'Donell's pecker?

[Hawaiian-Stylan]

Average length when erect: 5.1

I measured for the first time! 6.5... and they say we japanese are small. :rolleyes:

W00T! :eyebrow: :lickit:

[swampwolf]

Geez, who the fuck was that poor bastard with a 5/8 inch pecker?

Right off the top of my head.....hmmmmm Ted Kennedy?

[SuperD]

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%






The other 40% are lying.

[Mr.LaBella]

I measured for the first time! 6.5... and they say we japanese are small. :rolleyes:

W00T! :eyebrow: :lickit:

uhhhh this might qualify!


i have received a reported post on this!

TMI!

[Pumpkin]

I measured for the first time! 6.5... and they say we japanese are small. :rolleyes:

W00T! :eyebrow: :lickit:

:eek:

[JackBlades]

TMI!

Two More Inches?

[JackBlades]

:eek:

Why the frighty face? Oh, yeah........nevermind. :rolling:

[Clydetz]

And to think... I just thought blueballs was just a town in Pennsylvania! :idunno:


Weird city/town names



<TABLE cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=4 width="95%" align=center border=0 font size="-1" face="verdana" Font><TBODY><TR><TD>Aces of Diamonds, Florida</TD><TD>Fearnot, Pennsylvania</TD><TD>Normal, Illinois</TD></TR><TR><TD>Assawoman, Virginia</TD><TD>Fifty-Six, Arkansas</TD><TD>Odd, West Virginia</TD></TR><TR><TD>Bald Head, Maine</TD><TD>Forks of Salmon, California</TD><TD>Ogle, Kentucky</TD></TR><TR><TD>Beetown, Wisconsin</TD><TD>Fort Dick, California</TD><TD>Okay, Oklahoma</TD></TR><TR><TD>Belcher, New York</TD><TD>Frankenstein, Missouri</TD><TD>Panic, Pennsylvania</TD></TR><TR><TD>Ben Hur, Texas</TD><TD>Footville, Wisconsin</TD><TD>Peculiar, Missouri</TD></TR><TR><TD>Big Foot, Illinois</TD><TD>Gaylordsville, Connecticut</TD><TD>Plain City, Utah</TD></TR><TR><TD>Big Sandy, Wyoming</TD><TD>Gay Mills, Wisconsin</TD><TD>Porkey, Pennsylvanania</TD></TR><TR><TD>Blueballs, Pennsylvania</TD><TD>Gun Barrel City, Texas</TD><TD>Quiggleville, Pennsylvania</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boring, Maryland</TD><TD>Hell, Michigan</TD><TD>Rambo Riviera, Arkansas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boring, Oregon</TD><TD>Hicksville, Ohio</TD><TD>River Styx, Ohio</TD></TR><TR><TD>Buddha, Indiana</TD><TD>Hooker, Arkansas</TD><TD>Roachtown, Illinois</TD></TR><TR><TD>Chestnut, Illinois</TD><TD>Hooker, Oklahoma</TD><TD>Romance, Arkansas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Chicken, Alaska</TD><TD>Hornytown, North Carolina</TD><TD>Rough and Ready, California</TD></TR><TR><TD>Chocalate Bayou, Texas</TD><TD>Hot Coffee, Mississippi</TD><TD>Sand Draw, Wyoming</TD></TR><TR><TD>Chugwater, Wyoming</TD><TD>Hot Water, Mississippi</TD><TD>Sandwich, Illinois</TD></TR><TR><TD>Climax, North Carolina</TD><TD>Intercourse, Pennsylvania</TD><TD>Smackover, Arkansas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Climax, Pennsylvania</TD><TD>It, Mississippi</TD><TD>Spread Eagle, Wisconsin</TD></TR><TR><TD>Climax, Saskatchewan</TD><TD>Jupiter, Florida</TD><TD>Toad Suck, Arkansas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Cold Foot, Alaska</TD><TD>Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina</TD><TD>Umpire, Arkansas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Cold Water, Mississippi</TD><TD>King Arthur's Court, Michigan</TD><TD>Uncertain, Texas</TD></TR><TR><TD>Cut-Off, Louisiana</TD><TD>Koopa, Colorado</TD><TD>Yazoo, Mississippi</TD></TR><TR><TD>Dickeyville, Wisconsin</TD><TD>Lawyersville, New York</TD><TD>Yeehaw Junction, Florida</TD></TR><TR><TD>Ding Dong, Texas</TD><TD>Lollipop, Texas</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Disco, Tennessee</TD><TD>Love Ladies, New Jersey</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Dismal, Tennessee</TD><TD>Magazine, Arkansas</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Dry Fork, Wyoming</TD><TD>Mars, Pennsylvania</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Eclectic, Alabama</TD><TD>Monkey's Elbow, Kentucky</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Eek, Alaska</TD><TD>Muck City, Alabama</TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD>Embarrass, Minnesota</TD><TD>No Name, Colorado</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Missaman]

I have been to blue ball Pa. and Intercourse Pa. Live a few miles from Boring Md.

Your point is.....:doublefu:
Missaman

[Fenlore]

I have to call bullshit on the 40% of men who say they don't/havn't masturbate(d), there may be like 5 men in the whole world who've never jerked off... and I'm talking like, hardcore catholics.

Labatt Blue is horrible beer and whoever thought of making it like they do should be shot and pissed on, and if he's dead he should be dug up, shot and pissed on.

My penis can remain erect after jerkin the gurkin.

[SinCity]

Weird city/town names
You forgot one of the weirdist

Virginville Pa.


Fenlore,????????????? What kind if post is that? To much info about your Peepee.
Penis? At least you could have least given it a more colorful name.

Here's a few......... Pecker, Wisser, Wifflebat, Pinksteel, Oldpurple, TrouserTrout,.

[SinCity]

Fenlore,

Sorry, I did not read all the posts on this thread. Did not realize others were giving info on there Peckers..........

[LONE WOLF]

My dog licks his cock becuase he cannot jerk off. He doesnt have any balls anymore though.



Everyone wacks off. A good tip that really works is to cut a hole in your right side pocket. Then you can wack off anywhere(put some tissue in yer draws) without anyone the wiser. there is something special about beating off while someone is talking to you and they don't even know. It's called pocket pool.

[LONE WOLF]

I measured for the first time! 6.5....W00T! :eyebrow: :lickit:

6.5cm?

[Pumpkin]

Wow. This is a very personal thread :rolleyes:

[Hawaiian-Stylan]

6.5cm?

inches. :welcome:

[Fenlore]

Fenlore,

Sorry, I did not read all the posts on this thread. Did not realize others were giving info on there Peckers..........
oh that's the only thing I'll say about my wang... that and I see no real point in naming my dick, my cock is my schlong and I love to have it and that's about it.

[Bonzo]

Acidic fruits and alcohol (except processed liquors) give it a pleasant and sugary taste. Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown, etc. (drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun)

Ms. Pumpkin,

What my question is, who's doing the taste testing?

Also, they mention nothing about how high sperm counts can cause a woman to chew before she swallows.


Best regards,

Bonz

[Pumpkin]

There is this woman on the corner of Michigan Av...last I heard see was a pretty good taster and due to the fact that she has no teeth...well, I can't explain the chewing :idunno:

[Bonzo]

There is this woman on the corner of Michigan Av...last I heard see was a pretty good taster and due to the fact that she has no teeth...well, I can't explain the chewing :idunno:

Ms. Pumpkin,

Does she have a flat head, big wide ears and stand 3 feet tall?


Best regards,

Bonz

[Pumpkin]

I'd give her at least 4 feet? Does she sound familiar? :idunno:

[Pumpkin]

Bonzo, check your PM's please :poke:

[Bonzo]

I'd give her at least 4 feet? Does she sound familiar? :idunno:

Ms. Pumpkin,

If I stand on a few phone books, then 4 feet will work, but I really like that special spot to place my Coors on, and those flappin big ears to hold onto.


Best regards,

Bonz

[Pumpkin]

In Detroit, it's not hard at all to find asses to place your beer on! I'm sure they would stay through the roughest of conditions :D:

[Mr.LaBella]

Stay classy Detroit! :decisions

[RoadFish]

"Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising,
lose weight"

Not really! The best way to improve sexual function is having the right partner!

[Ken Brock]

Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode
if he doesn't have sex, is totally false.


unless you actually have balls, there is no way you can understand/comprehend/fathom the above statement

blue balls are NO JOKE

[Ironwolf]

[b]
Penis? At least you could have least given it a more colorful name.


...mine's 'Secret'...:cheesydevil:

[Sheldon_Wickersham]

Blown away that RL brought this one back from the dead...seemed more like KB's style; oh wait, KB, second batter up...game on, BB's and all ;)

[Miyamoto Musashi]

Are uncircumcised guys into knives at all? I wonder if Freud would say that's where it all began for me.

[Derespina Knives]

This thread gives me Blue Balls.... I'm going back to the Debbie Gibson thread to relieve myself....