PDA

View Full Version : I just want to be held (joke)



WT351
03-25-2005, 12:43 PM
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could barely keep a straight face when I murmured to her: "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

Spufnik
03-25-2005, 12:57 PM
Amen to that bro!!!! :D::D::D:

L33731
03-25-2005, 02:50 PM
SO is this a true story or a joke, either way it's pretty fuckin funny. :D:

BenDibble
03-25-2005, 06:28 PM
hahaha, that was a good one.

Bobert
03-25-2005, 07:00 PM
That is hilarious!


Bobert

TheMightyGoat
03-25-2005, 08:59 PM
If any man has ever actually done this, I applaud him wholeheartidly.

MeEatsPlaydoh
03-25-2005, 09:29 PM
hahaha great. That will keep her on her toes.

Trixie
03-25-2005, 09:43 PM
amen. that wins. fair is fair. http://jerzeedevil.com/forums/images/smilies/bow.gif

xtreme_blades
03-26-2005, 03:58 AM
That's the funniest damn thing I've heard in a long time. That was great. :D:

Stabber
03-26-2005, 07:08 AM
Shit WT!!!! Until the ending, I thought you lost your mind!!:D: :D:

WT351
03-26-2005, 07:21 AM
This joke has been floating around the net for a while, but I had never seen it here so I thought I would share. Apparently it was not as well spread as I thought.

Glad you enjoy.

Lallander
03-26-2005, 03:49 PM
That my friend wins best joke of the week.

I needed a good laugh about now.

The Nicker
03-28-2005, 12:02 AM
Now thats beautiful.