A Blonde and a Ventriloquist

[The Nicker]

A Blonde and a Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

[L33731]

A joke a day will keep the shrink away.



A Blonde Easter


Three blondes died & found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the kingdom, they had to tell him what the meaning of Easter was.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

So, the 1st blonde said:

"Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast & we give thanks & eat turkey."<o:p></o:p>

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.<o:p></o:p>



The 2nd blonde said:

"Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday & exchange gifts."<o:p></o:p>

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>



The 3rd blond said:

"Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His deciples when He was betrayed by Judas, & the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on a cross & eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..."<o:p></o:p>
Impressed, St. Peter said: "Verrrrry good!"<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Then the blonde continued "...now every year the Jews roll away the boulder & Jesus comes out. If He sees His shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."


St. Peter fainted.<o:p></o:p>

[Spufnik]

:D::D::D: :D::D::D:

[BenDibble]

anyone have an idea if he will see it this year?

[MeEatsPlaydoh]

ok boys and girls got this one out of a penthouse.

An American girl, a Russian girl, and a blond are talking.
The Russian girls says that "My country was the first to go into outer space".
"well" says the American "we were the first on the moon".
Then the blond says "well we are going to be the first ones on the sun".
"you can't go to the sun it's to hot" the other girls say.
Then the blond says "well were not stupid we will go at night".

[Spufnik]

Bump cause I just read this one. Like this would EVER happen :D: :D: :D:


Flying with blondes



A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next
to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and
makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard
that flights will go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it
slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to
discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know,"says the guy. "How about nuclear
power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an
interesting topic. But let me ask you a question
first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff--grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets,
the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse
produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose
that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I
haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you
feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you
don't know shit?

:decisions

[leanne]

ha ha ha
very good guys

[Peter Lezard]

Two blonds are walking in the woods...They come opon a set of tracks. One says "Rabbit tracks," the other "deer tracks!"
"Rabbit tracks!"
"Deer tracks!"

"Rabbit tracks!"
"Deer tracks!"






































They were still fighting when the train hit them.............

[Rozz]

A joke a day will keep the shrink away.



A Blonde Easter


Three blondes died & found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the kingdom, they had to tell him what the meaning of Easter was.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

So, the 1st blonde said:

"Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast & we give thanks & eat turkey."<o:p></o:p>

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.<o:p></o:p>



The 2nd blonde said:

"Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday & exchange gifts."<o:p></o:p>

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>



The 3rd blond said:

"Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His deciples when He was betrayed by Judas, & the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on a cross & eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..."<o:p></o:p>
Impressed, St. Peter said: "Verrrrry good!"<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Then the blonde continued "...now every year the Jews roll away the boulder & Jesus comes out. If He sees His shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."


St. Peter fainted.<o:p></o:p>


:spin: :spin: :spin:

[Stabber]

:bwah: :roflmao:

[TheKnifeCollector]

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?












Toes Go In First.

[willhunt]

A blonde takes her first trip to Vegas. She's not doing so well in the casino, so decides to head back to her room. She spots a Coke machine in the hall. Puts in a buck, and punches out a Coke. Puts in another buck and punches out a diet Coke. Another buck for a Sprite.
The guy behind her says "Hey Lady, are you about done?"
Blonde says "NO WAY. I'M STILL WINNING!!!!"

[Mr.LaBella]

A blonde takes her first trip to Vegas. She's not doing so well in the casino, so decides to head back to her room. She spots a Coke machine in the hall. Puts in a buck, and punches out a Coke. Puts in another buck and punches out a diet Coke. Another buck for a Sprite.
The guy behind her says "Hey Lady, are you about done?"
Blonde says "NO WAY. I'M STILL WINNING!!!!"

rep sent!:urock: :yeahthat: :rattler: :lafflol: