never enough red neck remarks

[Kura]

You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

[inkster]

I lined up 32 of my North Carolinian neighbors and between them they had a full set of teeth.

:cadi:

[Boogerball]

How do you know when you're staying in a SC hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."


How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.


Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age
in NC to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.



What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Alabama?
Documentaries.


Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi.
If it would've been invented anywhere else,
it would have been called a teeth brush.


A Georgia state trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to
the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"

[ppc6mm]

I always thought it was spelled & pronounced, TEEF.....

[cromdubh]

Redneck Medical Terms
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit.
Asphalt describes rectal problems.
A condom is a large apartment.
Douche is the French word for "twelve.
Genitals are people of non-Jewish descent.
A diaphragm is a drawing in Geometry.
Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
An erection is when Japanese people vote.
A dildo is a variety of the sweet pickle.
An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
The clitoris is a type of flower.
Testacles are found on an octopus.
Kotex is a radio station in Cincinatti.
Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

[Boogerball]

what do girls in North Carolina say after sex?



roll over Daddy, you're on my cigarettes

[Stabber]

Jethro's gonna kick your ass:manganr:

[shakie]

If the tooth brush was invented up north it would be called a teeth brush!

[JohnyV]

You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.




:bwah::bobert:

[mack1]

Good ones. All of youse!:bwah::ross::bwah::ross::manganr::mack::mack :