Sex postion study joke..

[MadDaddy]

New findings in a sexual position study done with married couples....

The study has found that 80% of married couples use some form of the "doggie postion".
The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

[tubtar]

Not to be confused with "aural " sex ..... " FUCK YOU !" ........" YEA , WELL FUCK YOU TOO !"
J.S.

[Jeff]

**looks around, nervously**

[mp5man1]

Wow I was just going to head out and beg.

[Rozz]

I keep thinking this thread title says Sex Pistols.........

Nevermind.

[ded i]

I kind of have a problem with always hearing the little woman won't have sex. There must be something going on I don't understand.

First - if your husband wants sex then why not get in on the fun - sex is fun, right? Orgasm is good - I've never had a bad orgasm. If you're doing things right, you should enjoy it just as much as he does. If you're not - then put some effort into learning how to make it better ... practice, practice, practice!

You married him because you love him and, presumably have a good sexual relationship ... so .... what's there to say no about?

If you don't "feel" like having sex, forget it, you probably WILL feel like it after a few minutes ...

If there are time constraints be innovative - you don't have to make him do all the work, ladies ...

If the kids are around ... again, be innovative - go lock yourselves in the bathroom or something ...

Excuse me, but Americans are so ridiculous about sex - it's a natural and healthy alternative to stressing out - it doesn't always have to be serious.

[Komodo]

I kind of have a problem with always hearing the little woman won't have sex. There must be something going on I don't understand.

First - if your husband wants sex then why not get in on the fun - sex is fun, right? Orgasm is good - I've never had a bad orgasm. If you're doing things right, you should enjoy it just as much as he does. If you're not - then put some effort into learning how to make it better ... practice, practice, practice!

You married him because you love him and, presumably have a good sexual relationship ... so .... what's there to say no about?

If you don't "feel" like having sex, forget it, you probably WILL feel like it after a few minutes ...

If there are time constraints be innovative - you don't have to make him do all the work, ladies ...

If the kids are around ... again, be innovative - go lock yourselves in the bathroom or something ...

Excuse me, but Americans are so ridiculous about sex - it's a natural and healthy alternative to stressing out - it doesn't always have to be serious.

DIVORCE XRAY, AND MARRY ME!

[Fenlore]

... ain't you married Komodo?

[Komodo]

... ain't you married Komodo?

:tbg::tbg::tbg::tbg::tbg::tbg::lafflol:

[ded i]

Fenlore's sig line (by Dtex) reminded me of another point. Pornography has its uses - there is room for porn in marriage.

Komodo - I'm honored by your proposal of marriage :D: but Xray is just what I need - I know I'm blessed!

I'd like to hear the other ladies on this subject. I'm sorry if I'm too outspoken for some of you.

[Jeff]

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:


I kind of have a problem with always hearing the little woman won't have sex. There must be something going on I don't understand.

First - if your husband wants sex then why not get in on the fun - sex is fun, right? Orgasm is good - I've never had a bad orgasm. If you're doing things right, you should enjoy it just as much as he does. If you're not - then put some effort into learning how to make it better ... practice, practice, practice!

You married him because you love him and, presumably have a good sexual relationship ... so .... what's there to say no about?

If you don't "feel" like having sex, forget it, you probably WILL feel like it after a few minutes ...

If there are time constraints be innovative - you don't have to make him do all the work, ladies ...

If the kids are around ... again, be innovative - go lock yourselves in the bathroom or something ...

Excuse me, but Americans are so ridiculous about sex - it's a natural and healthy alternative to stressing out - it doesn't always have to be serious.

Typical scenario at my house:

me: ***makes romantic advance***

her: "no, not tonight"

me: ***more romantic advances***

her: "I SAID, NOT TONIGHT! IM TIRED!"

me: "Snuggles, lemme rephrase. I'm getting laid tonight. I'd prefer to get it here. Help me help us..."

her: NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

me: ***sigh***

[Umberto]

I'm sorry if I'm too outspoken for some of you.

shocked the hell outta me.

[dee]

I agree DD, it's pretty dumb to turn down something thats sooooo enjoyable.

While its possible for 'life' to intrude on sex, the problems should be dealt with. You wouldn't go days without eating if there is food in the cupboard....why in hell would someone want to go days without sex when its available?

[ded i]

shocked the hell outta me.

Right :roflmao:
I know you've lived a secluded life on those Latino cruises - just you and your bongo ...



Another thing wives should keep in mind: If your husband travels for his work - don't let him leave without something nice to remember you by ...

[ded i]

I agree DD, it's pretty dumb to turn down something thats sooooo enjoyable.

While its possible for 'life' to intrude on sex, the problems should be dealt with. You wouldn't go days without eating if there is food in the cupboard....why in hell would someone want to go days without sex when its available?
... or even when it's not available :jdwink2:

Thanks, Dee! It's good to hear another voice about this. Maybe we should start a counseling center:


DD&D ~ Professional Ass-ociates

[dee]

Yeah, when it comes right down to it...it is ALWAYS available, even when nobody else is around...thank goodness! :madaddy:

[Fenlore]

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:



Typical scenario at my house:

me: ***makes romantic advance***

her: "no, not tonight"

me: ***more romantic advances***

her: "I SAID, NOT TONIGHT! IM TIRED!"

me: "Snuggles, lemme rephrase. I'm getting laid tonight. I'd prefer to get it here. Help me help us..."

her: NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

me: ***sigh***

Now that is fucking hilarious.:bwah:

[tubtar]

Few and far between are the women who know what they want and aren't afraid to grab it ......... mostly a twisted , puritanical American phenomenon I think........compared to europe anyhoo.
The dynamic shifts in Asian , and goes totally bat shit in Arab and African countries.
I applaud anyone who isn't afraid of what others may think and forges ahead with what is obviously so right.
Fuck 'em. Literally !
J.S.

[Matches]

I, for one, refuse to whine about the short-comings in my marriage...I just take matters into my own hands:ronl:

[Rozz]

Now that is fucking hilarious.:bwah:
second

[MJ]

Hmmmm, if she's rollin over playing dead, then that mans not doing something right. Why would you turn down booty? If your man is so bad in bed that you'd rather not, then it's time to teach that fucker what to do!!!!! If even that fails, there is always climbing on top. :jdsmokin:

[MadDaddy]

Lukily my wife and I have a healthy sex life...(yes, with each other)....I always shake my head in amazement when we are hanging out with couples, especially younger than us, that complain they hardly ever have sex....WTF...It's the most fun you can have for free....

Like DD said....I can't really see any logical reason why they wouldn't be having sex all the time....unless they really don't like each other all that much anymore...and that whole other issue.

[Jeff]

Anyone happen to catch the Today show this morning about 8am?

They were covering a recent research finding which indicates that most women experience a dramatic decrease in sexual interest after 4 or more years in a relationship. (this is no bullshit, I saw it with my own two eyes).

What pissed me off about the whole story, was this female psycho-sex-therapist chick that was on there, talking about all the things that men need to do (including buying women gifts) to get their wives in the mood. At no point did they talk at all about the woman's responsibility to occaisionally initiate, or things that women can do to romantically stimulate their husbands. There seems to be a society wide acceptance (with few exceptions as noted in posts above) that sex is a reward for a husband's good behavior. Bullshit... Millions of women saw that show today, including my wife...

Don't get me wrong, I believe a man has a responsibility (maybe even more than a woman, in fact) to do all the things the show suggests, but damn-it women have that responsibilty too.

***takes deep breath***

[ded i]

.... most women experience a dramatic decrease in sexual interest after 4 or more years in a relationship.

:D: most men experience a dramatic decrease in sexual interest after about 4 minutes. ...



What pissed me off about the whole story, was this female psycho-sex-therapist chick that was on there, talking about all the things that men need to do (including buying women gifts) to get their wives in the mood. At no point did they talk at all about the woman's responsibility to occaisionally initiate, or things that women can do to romantically stimulate their husbands. There seems to be a society wide acceptance (with few exceptions as noted in posts above) that sex is a reward for a husband's good behavior. Bullshit... Millions of women saw that show today, including my wife...

Don't get me wrong, I believe a man has a responsibility (maybe even more than a woman, in fact) to do all the things the show suggests, but damn-it women have that responsibilty too.

***takes deep breath***

X and I heard that on CNN the other day. Most marriages calm down a bit sexually after the first few years and that's on the part of both husband and wife. Men get too busy trying to make a living. Women tend to shift their focus and energy to childraising.

But sex shouldn't be a "reward." I always cringe when I hear women talk that way and hope they are just being dramatic. Sex is part of sharing a wonderful partnership and if either mate is too selfish, the relationship suffers. Both sexes need to remember the constant little attentions that keep the loving alive.

A romantic dinner she doesn't have to cook never hurts. :kingkaxt: :D::kingkaxt:
It doesn't have to be expensive, be innovative -

But nothing with beans ...

[Jeff]

:D: most men experience a dramatic decrease in sexual interest after about 4 minutes. ...

Now THAT was friggin funny lololol

rep for you :)

[beergoddess]

Right :roflmao:
I know you've lived a secluded life on those Latino cruises - just you and your bongo ...



Another thing wives should keep in mind: If your husband travels for his work - don't let him leave without something nice to remember you by ...
i, for one, will not have my husband leave the house with a "loaded gun" ...:madaddy:

but... believe it or not, some women really DO have a bigger sex drive than their men. it happens. it seems unjust that men peek in their early 20's and women in their 30's!

[MadDaddy]

it seems unjust that men peek in their early 20's and women in their 30's!

I don't think I believe that anymore....I am 36 and still the same horn dog that I was at 19 :spin: :deadevil:

[Umberto]

They're Congas, by god, not bongos.
Great big Congas.

[MadDaddy]

They're Congas, by god, not bongos.
Great big Congas.

So it says on the bathroom wall.

[Fenlore]

I don't think I believe that anymore....I am 36 and still the same horn dog that I was at 19 :spin: :deadevil:

He may need viagra but dammit, he's still horny as all hell.

[beergoddess]

He may need viagra but dammit, he's still horny as all hell.
dont knock it... viagra is a great recreational drug!! :jdwink2:

[beergoddess]

ok... before you all ask... here is the story:
my brother has a perscription for viagra. i asked him for a few for mike. he doesnt need it, but i have heard it fun to play with! so we are out w/ my brother and some friends at a bar in pt. pleasant beach. i give a very drunk mike 2 pills. i am told they take 20 minutes to kick in. there is a 15 minute drive to where we live. do the math. so, i hurriedly usher his drunk ass to the car. i figure, the kids are away at grandmas, its gonna be a helluva night! on the way home he keeps asking for cherry poptarts! like... obsessivly! so i find a 7-11 and get poptarts and a soda for him to "butter him up" for the festivities! so he eats the WHOLE box! (he's not a little guy) so we pull up to the house and he says his stomach hurts. ya think? i tell him "do not throw up those pills!!" so my friend alyssa is sleeping at my house for the week and was on the couch when we got home. now, a lil background on alyssa... she is an F cup bra and makes me look flat chested! and also very sexually exploratory! (sorry guys, she's now married!) so i go get undressed for bed and i find 'ol romeo out in the living room telling alyssa she should come sleep in our room w/ us because she has a "bad back!" how considerate of him, right? so i grab him by the ear and take him into the room. he disappears yet again and i found him puking in the backyard. the 2 male dogs were out there and ate the viagra-laced puke. needless to say, the dogs stayed outside that night and mike slept on the couch and alyssa, well she came with me.

[Jeff]

and alyssa, well she came with me.

OH...

MY...

GAWWWWWWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker: :parker:

[MadDaddy]

He may need viagra but dammit, he's still horny as all hell.

hell no....not needed....a soft breeze or a nice image, or a nice hottie walking by and I am at full attention...

[ded i]

ok... before you all ask... here is the story:

[....]
needless to say, the dogs stayed outside that night and mike slept on the couch and alyssa, well she came with me.

O'mgod! I'm trying not to think of you and M's D Cup in the same bed ... poor Mike! He made a valient attempt however! Rep to Mike!

:D:

[inkster]

I'm gonna have to go for my third masturbationatory session of the day:faint:

I'm just trying to get my shoulder stronger :wes:

[ded i]

I'm gonna have to go for my third masturbationatory session of the day:faint:

I'm just trying to get my shoulder stronger :wes:

That must be some shotgun if you have to pump it from your shoulder!

:roflmao:

[tubtar]

I'm gonna have to go for my third masturbationatory session of the day:faint:

I'm just trying to get my shoulder stronger :wes:

The proverbial hat trick. If there was a threat of any type of repetitive motion injury from this activity , I would have been in traction years ago.
But a hat trick is quite a feat at any age.
I'd say we're pulling for you , but it would seem you don't need any help in that department.
You MUST track down a copy of Mr. Bungle's hit " The girls of Porn "
Required listening........for anyone.
J.S.

[Mr.LaBella]

Only on The JD could a crap-tastic email joke turn into x rated sex talk!

I fuckin love this place!

http://www.jerzeedevil.com/gallery/files/3/6/0/3/labellathreaddrift.jpg

Can you feel the effects of the high brother? B-Real roll me another

[McGyver]

I often get the question from the wife "Why do you want to have sex with me all the time?" I simply tell her that I'm not driven necessarily by my desire to have sex with her, as much as it is a lack of options....