~funny momma jokes~

[beergoddess]

okay.... with the hoohah generated by the thread i started about cheesiest pickup lines, i figured a new one was in order. a couple of friends and i were talking about the funniest "yo mama" jokes. thought it would make for some interesting reads! i'll start...here's my favorite:

i saw your mom walking down the street wearing only one shoe. i asked her "aww... what happened, did you lose a shoe?" she said "no... i found one!"

okay.... devils... you can do better....

[MadDaddy]

you mama's a crack whore....that on always worked :deadevil:

[24thMED]

Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn

[rudechuck]

Your momma's so fat, she went outside wearing a Malcolm X t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her.

[Umberto]

Yo momma's so ugly when she opens the refrigerator she curdles the milk.

[Rozz]

BTW......I hope no one gets offended by these jokes, they are all just in fun.

Yo momma's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read to be continued!

[Bobert]

Your Mama's so fat and ugly, I only fucked her twice!

[Umberto]

I believe Bobert has defined the limits here.

[Chisel]

Your mommas so fat she sweats butter.

[DJ DeMarco]

Yo mama's so fat the only way to fuck is with On Star assistance.

Yo mama's so fat you wanna have sex with her you have to snap her thigh and ride the wave in.

Yo mama's so ugly Aaron or Jeff wouldn't hit it.

Yo mama's so ugly when she was born they threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Yo mama's so fat when she goes out to eat she just takes one look at the menu and says "OK"

Yo mama's butt so big it won't return Spielberg's calls.

Yo mama's so nasty having phone sex with her gave me an ear infection.

[Tinysd]

Your momma's so fat, that when she walked past the TV I missed three commercials.

[Rozz]

DJ.......the last one was good

[24thMED]

A few more..

Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs

[Fenlore]

yo mama's so ugly the bag over her face needed a bag.

[tmbrcrafter]

Your momma's so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes

[MJ]

Your mama's so ugly we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.

Your mama's so stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder.

Your mama so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

[Fenlore]

not to go into the chuck norris bandwagon but...

Yo mamma's so fat not even Chuck Norris could move her.

Yo mamma's so fat she got arrested at the boarder for trying to smuggle 100 lbs of crack, ass crack that is.

Yo mamma's so fat she's got more chins than china town.

[Chisel]

your mommas so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and when I asked her what whe was doing she said "moving"

[Chisel]

your mommas so fat, for a tampon she uses a roll of paper towels and a rope.

[SinCity]

You mama's teeth are so Yellow, when she smiles, Cars slow down!

[leanne]

ha ha ha good ones you guys

[Mr Yarrow]

Your mommas so fat...I burnt my arse on the light bulb

Your mommas so fat...she fell over, cut her leg, and bled gravy

Your mommas so fat...she has a chicken wing in her geo-stationery orbit

[DJ DeMarco]

Yo mama's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn

Yo mama's like a Circle K, open 24 hours a day and nothing good ever comes out.

Yo mama's like old tupperware, after years of constantly packing meat, she lost her tight seal.

Yo mama's so fat when she sits around the house, SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE !

Yo mama's so fat she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

[Fenlore]

Yo mamma so ugly not even SE would fuck her.:thefinger

[DJ DeMarco]

Your mama's so ugly Fenlore would only hit it with his beer goggles on :firedevil

[L33731]

Your momma's so fat I jumped on the bitches back, shoved a flag in her ass and claimed her a Country.

[Fenlore]

Your mama's so ugly Fenlore would only hit it with his beer goggles on :firedevil
Yeah but I'd need a baseball bat to hit that cause there's no way I'd touch it.

[willhunt]

Yo momma's so STUPID, she asks for a price check at the Dollar Store!!!

[DJ DeMarco]

Yo mama's so nasty she deushes with lysol.

[Fenlore]

Yo mamma's so fat she makes Rosie O'Donnel look skinny.

[DJ DeMarco]

Yo mamas so ugly I took her to the zoo and they thanked me for returning her

Yo mamas so ugly she had to drug you to breast feed you

Yo mamas so ugly she could burn the ball hair off a dead priest

Yo mamas so fat you could screen a double feature on her ass

Yo mamas so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint roller

[MJ]

Yo mamas so ugly she could burn the ball hair off a dead priest




:roflmao: That's sick, but I like it :)

[underscoreMike]

k so i personally made this one up years ago i hope none of you heard it before.

your momma so ugly, the trash man wouldnt pick her up.

[Mr.LaBella]

your momma reminds me of a racetrack,

not the dirt

not the cheap beer

but all the burnt rubber:devilzeek

[beergoddess]

:bobdance: :bobdance: hehe.... burnt rubber!

[silenthunterstudios]

You're momma so ugly, when she went into a haunted house, she came back out with an application.

You're momma so fat, when she pulled up her BVDs, they spelled boulevard.

[zzjake]

Your mamas so low class she thinks PBR is imported beer

[Bobert]

Your Mama's so fat, she was standing on the street corner and the cops told her to "break it up"!


Your Mama's so ugly, she look out the window, and got a ticket for mooning!

[Fenlore]

your mama's so ugly she gave birth to ron.:ernie:

[RoadFish]

your mama's so ugly she gave birth to ron.:ernie:

:popcorn:

[2fulhundin]

your mama is so dumb when God was giving out brains she thought he said Trains and askes for a slow one because she didn't want to wreck. :bluedevil:

[scarface06]

Yo mama's pussy so big that havin sex with her is like throughing a hotdog down a hallway...

[2fulhundin]

you momma's puss is so sloppy you get more satisfaction from a bucket of warm water.

[Trixie]

Your mama's so fat....when she sits around the house...she really sits around the house.

Your mama's so stupid, when she heard it was "chilly" outside, she ran to get her bowl.

Your mama's so fat, she has her own area code.

Your mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.

[SoToo]

Yo momma so fat... she jumped into the sky and got stuck.

Yo momma so fat... when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.

Yo momma so fat... her doctor has NASA orbit a satellite around her just to examine her.

Yo momma so fat... when she walks down the street, it looks like two VW Buses tryin to pass each other.

Yo momma so fat... the Dept of Trans made her paint white lines and speed limit signs around her new belt.

Yo momma so fat... I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.

Yo momma so fat... she has to use MapQuest to find her belly button.

Yo momma so fat... they tie a rope around her and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat... when she steps on the scale, it says "one at a time, please".

Yo momma so fat... they had to install speed bumps at her favorite all you can eat buffet.

Yo momma so fat... when she dances at a live performance, the whole band skips.

Yo momma so fat... she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma so fat... when she fell, she rocked herself asleep trying to get back up.

Yo momma so fat... she sat on four quarters and it made a dollar bill.

Yo momma so fat... before you can screw her, you have to roll her around in some flour, then look for the wet spot.