fuckers....

[Mr.LaBella]

i hurt my back badly... :hityou:

[Clydetz]

Stop drinkin' the Heinekens during work! :nono: Or did you hurt your back getting out of bed? :decoder:

[BenDibble]

he hurt it giving a reach around. :D :D

[snowdon]

Heard of anyone having a couple ribs removed so they can blow themselfs? :???:

[Milu]

Heard of anyone having a couple ribs removed so they can blow themselfs? :???:

Rumoured to have been done by an Italian poet Gabriele d'Annunzio. He was supposed to have been a bit oversexed.

[Guillermo]

That reminds me of probably the most stupid question I have ever heard. "Care if I suck your dick?" Why do women even ask?

Ron, try to limit yourself to 3-4 women in a 24 hour period. Even a pro has to set limits.

[Trixie]

Heard of anyone having a couple ribs removed so they can blow themselfs? :???:

Rumoured to have been done by an Italian poet Gabriele d'Annunzio. He was supposed to have been a bit oversexed.


Just a bit? :???:

[007]

Well, if he had been a lot oversexed, he'd have bent over far enough without surgery! :D

[Milu]

The standard we apply in Italy is a bit different.

I shall explain before Sig LaBella does:

An Italian businessman went to an American doctor with a sore and painful penis. The doctor's first reaction was too check a venereal disease, but the tests were all negative. The doctor then asked how often the man made love.

The man replied, "Well, with my wife before getting up in the morning, then a blowjob after breakfast. A quickie with my secretary in the coffee break. Then most days I manage to take the accounts clerk to a hotel for a session. Blowjob from my secretary in the afternoon coffeebreak. Most days I pick up a hooker on my way home for another quickie. My wife usually greets me with a blowjob and then we have a proper session after dinner. And of course if I wake up in the middle of the night I make love to my wife again.

The doctor was shocked:

"My dear fellow," he said, "you are ruining yourself with your own hands!"

The businessman put his head in his hands and cried:

"I knew it. I knew it. It's the masturbating sessions!"

[Mr.LaBella]

The standard we apply in Italy is a bit different.

I shall explain before Sig LaBella does:

An Italian businessman went to an American doctor with a sore and painful penis. The doctor's first reaction was too check a venereal disease, but the tests were all negative. The doctor then asked how often the man made love.

The man replied, "Well, with my wife before getting up in the morning, then a blowjob after breakfast. A quickie with my secretary in the coffee break. Then most days I manage to take the accounts clerk to a hotel for a session. Blowjob from my secretary in the afternoon coffeebreak. Most days I pick up a hooker on my way home for another quickie. My wife usually greets me with a blowjob and then we have a proper session after dinner. And of course if I wake up in the middle of the night I make love to my wife again.

The doctor was shocked:

"My dear fellow," he said, "you are ruining yourself with your own hands!"

The businessman put his head in his hands and cried:

"I knew it. I knew it. It's the masturbating sessions!"

now this is how I roll too! :gogdog:

awesome post Milu !! :gogdog: :gogdog: :devil:

[Trixie]

Well, if he had been a lot oversexed, he'd have bent over far enough without surgery! :D

Guess that gives him something to aspire to. :devil:

[007]

:ron: has hopes and dreams! :twisted:

[Mr.LaBella]

i dont dream, i just drool a lot


terrible on my maid she has to always be washing pillowcases!


:D :D :D :D :D :D

[snowdon]

i dont dream, i just drool a lot
terrible on my maid she has to always be washing pillowcases!

:D :D :D :D :D :D

........ and pants. :devil:

[tubtar]

i hurt my back badly... :hityou:

At work ?

Need a witness ?

10 % with your script.......20 % with mine , but I guarantee another zero on the check. Just one quick question......did you piss or shit your self before you hit the ground ? Juries love this and it will effectively double any potential settlement.
Think of it as one small stool for mankind , one giant leap for mankinds wallet.
Let me know,
J.S.

[007]

Before, during and after the way I heard it. :ron: :boozer:

[Mr.LaBella]

carrying my cousins casket... :(

[BenDibble]

oh, slapped us back to reality. :(

[Guillermo]

carrying my cousins casket... :(

Sorry to hear that bro. My cousin died last yearand I was the first to scatter his ash. More people joined in, the wind picked up and I got a face full. It would have been funny but.........

[tubtar]

Pretty much proving that I am an asshole !
Sorry :ron: .
I ought to be hoss whipped,*
J.S.







* Don't you go getting any foolish ideas ,Trixie , Wolfgang or any other pain freaks in the crowd !

[007]

Bummer, Ron. :(

[BenDibble]

Pretty much proving that I am an asshole !
Sorry :ron: .
I ought to be hoss whipped,*
J.S.







* Don't you go getting any foolish ideas ,Trixie , Wolfgang or any other pain freaks in the crowd !

i'll do it for ya.

[Bonzo]

carrying my cousins casket... :(

Sorry to hear that bro. My cousin died last yearand I was the first to scatter his ash. More people joined in, the wind picked up and I got a face full. It would have been funny but.........

Mr. Guillermo,

That reminds me of a friend of mine. His dad kicked, and then he gets this box in the mail about a month later. Yep, it's dear ol' dad. So, his dad wanted his ashes spread at his favorite fishing spot way up in the mountains. In fact, it was the same place he fell and severly shattered his leg several years before, and they had to chopper the big fucker out. As the story goes, my buddy and his 2 sisters take off and hike way the fuck back in the wilderness to spread the ashes. When they got there, they pulled the can out of the box, and realized nobody brought a can opener. So, after an hour of beating the can over some sharp rocks, he finally popped it open and tried to pour out dad. He told me it was packed tight, so he took a stick and tried to dig it out, then the wind really kicked up and blew the stuff all over him and his sisters, so then he reaches inside the can and starts pulling out gobs and trowing the stuff out, and lo & behold, he got stuck in the hand with a surgical screw that was put in dear ol' dads leg several years before from breaking his leg in that same spot. I told him his dad always had a way of screwing him over for every pidly thing, and now he got the last laugh. We laughed so hard we were both in tears.


Best regards,

Bonz

[007]

You've done it now, Tubby. You've awakened the dragon!

[tubtar]

Even in death there is humor......because we as a people are pretty fucking absurd. It is these and stories like this that make living with it a little easier.
When G. told his story , I flashed back to the end of The Big Lebowski.
Being there at the time , it had to be difficult......and maybe it is still painful for him.
But telling this story generates laughter every time it is told.......I'd bet green dollars on that.
You have at laugh at Bonz's story because it is funny..........absurd , human , real.
Death blows.....but the way we manage to cope with it......well , that is called living.
As far as waking the dragon ......... beats chasing it every time.

J.S.

[007]

i'll do it for ya.

Be afraid, be very afraid! :whip:

[Guillermo]

About 20 years ago it was Christmas Eve and my mother said that my uncle Doogan was in a bad car crash and had died. It was the only time that I could remember crying as a teen but he was the coolest drunk Irish uncle anbody could have ever wished for. All I could remember was my mother telling me that she was glad that he was dead and wanted the same for the rest of my fathers family. We got a call the next morning that he was alive! He had massive head injuries and I think that that the injury combined with drugs caused him to have a stroke. He had flatlined about a dozen times and the doctor finally pronounced him dead. In the morgue he sat up and asked where in the hell am I? The janitor shit his pants. :D :D True story.

[Bonzo]

Mr. Tubtar,

My dear ol' Pop was a Marine. His big brother was a Marine as well, but was KIA in WWII. Anyway, when dear ol' Dad passed away (1995), my brother gave Dad's discharge papers to the funeral director for burial purposes, marker and all that shit. Now, my Dad loved the Marines, I mean, with heart and soul. Anyone who is the child of a Marine, has been damn near through Marine basic training. A few months after Dad passes away, my brother comes by and tells me that they placed the marker on Dads grave. We both go down to the cemetery with Coors in hand, cause thats the only way Pops would have it. Looking down at his newly placed bronze palque, I told my brother ol' Dad must be rolled over, cause the marker said US ARMY. Pops loved every branch of the service, but as my dearly beloved brother and I were standing there shellshocked beyond belief, we knew Pops would never have eternal peace unless the fuck-up by the fuck-ups was corrected. After an almost act of congress, the marker was finally changed to US Marines. Anoter thing was my dear Mom divorced Dad about 25 years before Dad kicked. Pops always blamed Mom for everything. Pops got in the last laugh. Fucker. I was the one who called Mom and said, "Happy birthday Mom, guess what, My Dad died today!"


Best regards,

Bonz

[BenDibble]

About 20 years ago it was Christmas Eve and my mother said that my uncle Doogan was in a bad car crash and had died. It was the only time that I could remember crying as a teen but he was the coolest drunk Irish uncle anbody could have ever wished for. All I could remember was my mother telling me that she was glad that he was dead and wanted the same for the rest of my fathers family. We got a call the next morning that he was alive! He had massive head injuries and I think that that the injury combined with drugs caused him to have a stroke. He had flatlined about a dozen times and the doctor finally pronounced him dead. In the morgue he sat up and asked where in the hell am I? The janitor shit his pants. :D :D True story.

if someone did that at work i would still embalm them. its not mt fault the doctors are idiots. :D :D


ok j/k i would definately work on a live person. :hityou:

[Guillermo]

I am good friends with undertaker. He keeps late hours and is in the resturant very late most nights. Now I understand what he is saying about its not the live ones you have to worry about. :D I remember a story like this and a woman that was thought to be dead in D.C. a few months ago.

[Mr.LaBella]

DC= dead corpse?

nah, i dont think so.... :D

Ben Dibble does an "are you alive test" by fellating all dead males to "see"if in fact the deceased is deceased.

he makes great tips around the holidays.


:D

[BenDibble]

deflating, no fellating.:slap: :hityou:

[Guillermo]

DC= dead corpse?

nah, i dont think so.... :D

Ben Dibble does an "are you alive test" by fellating all dead males to "see"if in fact the deceased is deceased.

he makes great tips around the holidays.


:D

Washington D.C. and is that how you raise the dead?

[tubtar]

rigor mortis gives a whole new meaning to sportin a stiffie !
Bonz scores with more humor in death..........I think it is the best way to deal with it. Even if it isn't funny at the time , eventually it will bring you a chuckle...........Happy birthday , Mom...........shit I'm still laughing.
That is some tragic shit that is flat out hilarious to hear.
J.S. :devil:

[Ken Brock]

you twisted hunchback fucker!